Turning Obstacles Into Opportunities: Lessons From Marcus Aurelius and Modern Therapy

Feeling stuck? Discover how obstacles can become your path forward in this inspiring episode on overcoming personal barriers.

This week, we dive deep into the journey of a high-achieving individual who faced years of stagnation due to perfectionism and fear—only to finally break through by tackling one daunting math class. Drawing parallels with world explorers and their own hidden struggles, we explore why even the brightest minds get stuck and what it really takes to move past mental roadblocks.

Key takeaways:
- Perfectionism often keeps us frozen; progress comes from effort, not flawless execution
- The importance of starting before you feel ready—action trumps waiting for perfect conditions
- How support systems and honest self-reflection fuel breakthroughs

Tune in now for practical insights on turning what stands in your way into your way forward!

Marcus Aurelius once said, impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way. I'm working with an individual that has hit a brick wall and has been stuck for a number of years, and right now is in the process of breaking down that wall, is making significant progress in doing that. So I want to talk about that in this podcast as I'm working with him and we're digging deep in, how are you doing this now? Because here's an individual, very intelligent, very bright, that got most the way through college, but then lacked one class. And he had some negative experiences, and he just had to go back and do one class.

And I don't know, how many classes do you need before 40 classes or something you need to get until you finally get your degree total? I don't know. I'm just throwing that off the top of my head. I can't even remember how many classes I took through the years and getting my degree. But he just needed one more class. And yet it became a barrier to him where he dropped out, didn't complete his education, has been stuck and frozen for a number of years, five, six years, hasn't done anything. And that's when he finally reached out for therapy, Says, please help me explore what's going on with me. I'm stuck. I'm frozen. I don't know why. And completing my degree for whatever reason seems like the most challenging thing in the world to me.

Reminds me of another friend that I have. He's a world explorer. He has some world records on climbing achievements, sailing achievements. I mean, he's done Mount Everest a few times. Denali, Anyway, the seven. Seven peaks. Seven highest peaks on seven highest continents. Done that. And he wanted to write a book about his experiences, but he talked about his barrier to that, that he couldn't seem to get over that. He says it was easier climbing Mount Everest than writing the book about his adventures.

So that's an interesting dilemma that we find ourselves. And perhaps you're struggling with something that just as a barrier to you, for whatever reason, don't seem to be able to get through and push through.

So I'm working with this one individual. He's just an amazing young man. He's in his upper 20s right now, in that ballpark, upper 20s, early 30s. And he's got to go back. And he's gone back to school and he's taking an online course, extremely challenging mathematics course. And we've been working through it on week to week in therapy not that I'm helping him with that, but I'm just setting a goal. What are you going to do as far as studying for your class, taking your midterm, and again going back? Because I went back to school when I was 33 to finish my bachelor's degree and then went straight on for a master's.

And I can honestly say it does not get easier the older you get. And so he's taking this extremely challenging math class, calculus class, and he's busting through it. He's getting through it. He's almost done.

On the first test, he was so fearful of the test. He's a perfectionist, and that's part of the problem of keeping us stuck. He's a perfectionist, but he's studying. He's doing the work. He's working hard. He's studying.

He finally got his results back. Took him a long time to get his results back. He texted me during the week and said, I got 95 out of 100% on this intense calculus class.

I'm going, that's amazing. Your intellect is off the charts.

And he says, yeah, but the issue is my mind, in my fear, and what's preventing me or helping me avoid doing what I just need to finish this class, and then I get my bachelor's degree.

And I asked him the question: how are you doing it this time? How are you moving through this barrier?

And he's pondering that, and he says: well, I think it's my wife and my family—my children—I'm doing it for them.

And I said: when I was sitting down to actually take the first midterm it was like: no no no no—I don’t want to do this!

What he's become a master of is procrastination: I'm going to put it off; I'm going to put it off.

And he said: no I've got to do this.

He was sitting in front of the computer facing that obstacle—moment of truth—I’ve got to do this; I've studied; I've just got to get on and do it.

And he did—and he just opened the computer while the voices are screaming inside of his head: Don't! Don't! Do something else! Do something else!

Whether that's a fear of failure—the fear of not being good enough—and learning to manage that inside ourselves.

And then we talked about his perfectionistic... He says: If I don't get an A plus something—I feel I've failed.

And I'm going—wow—where does that come from? That's pretty intense! And because we're all human—none of us can get—we cannot get an A plus on everything!

He says: Yeah yeah—I know that...

So you need to make peace with that—just put forth effort—and we all need to do a better job of that—just put forth effort—do something—and don't let those voices inside our heads inhibit us—to the point where we don't do anything.

The Navy Seals call this thing violence of action—meaning—a plan acted on today is better than... Well what is the saying? Just—the fact that you have an okay plan—is better acted on today than waiting to develop a perfect plan—to act on it tomorrow.

We gotta do stuff—we gotta get stuff done—we've got to make peace with the fact we're not perfect—we gotta make peace with the fact everything's not going to align up perfectly...

If you write a paper every sentence isn't going be perfect; every idea you're not going be able explain perfectly; every question you're not going be able answer perfectly... It's okay! It's movement—that is—the important thing—the doing thing—getting engaged—just working!

So I'd encourage you—anyone listening—to this podcast—that there is great peace—and—in getting lost in work—for a period of time...

Work is a great elixir if you can just get out your head—and just go to work! Just focus on task at hand—and get out your way! Just go work—and do something—and quit worrying about 100% perfection on everything—it just gets in way!

Just work! Just get engaged—and do very best you can! Give honest effort! And if you're giving honest effort—that's only thing really matters—the intent of your heart—the intent of your focus—even though you'll be distracted million times—it's just part life—it just happens...

The ability stay focused—and get in flow state—it’s very very rare—but nevertheless—we cannot allow—that—to prevent us—from moving forward...

Doing something—is better than doing nothing...

I mean if you—I heard something this morning—in book—I was listening—to—as—I was at gym working out...

And as I'm reflecting on it—it’s like: if you don't try something if you don't attempt—to do something—you've already failed at it; you haven't accomplished it...

And so what harm can there be actually attempting something—and learning—in process? And who knows if—you might—not just accomplish thing—and do it—in way—that really—is rewarding—and—that really—is okay?

But if—you don’t do anything—you've already failed at it...

So ask! Ask—for what—you need! Reach out—to other people—you have issue—ask—for help rather than letting your fears inhibit—you—from moving forward—in life...

That's one worst places—to be psychologically... Like this individual—I’m working with right now—he is one smartest guys—I’ve ever been around—I mean his intellect—is off charts—and—and he is going accomplish great things because he—and he knows—he doesn’t have problem when he jumps in his studies—he’s very confident in that—it’s just there’s this other barrier—of actually getting himself—to do it—it just—you know—he’s trying weed out what—is going on—and we all have our different idiosyncrasies and stuff like that—but he’s confronting—it right now—and he’s actually doing—it...

His issue—is just start ignition—in car—it’s just start—it start engine—and get going—and you’re fine—but it's not starting engine—that is thing—that's keeping him stuck...

So I'd encourage—you—to ponder—that... Start whatever engine—you need—to... Just turn key—get going on something... Just take first step—and lose yourself—in your work—and get out your own way...

Anyway—just thought—I want leave—with—you this morning—is... I'm seeing this guy—he's smiling again... He's seeing hope—in his future... I mean he's got huge plans—not doubt—in my mind he's going achieve them... And he knows he will now because engine has started—and sees progress that's happening... Nothing's going stop him now...

But sometimes—we just have tendency—to get stuck—and I'm encouraging him—not spend time looking on bemoaning lost time—you know because ah I've wasted so much time I've wasted so much time ah water under bridge today's new day today is first day rest your life today is day today is most important day now is most important time your life so let's get up let's be doing

I'll end this podcast again with statement by Marcus Aurelius:

Impediment to action advances action.
What stands in the way becomes the way.