Embracing Challenges in Your Life

Would it make a difference if you chose to look at the very thing that you're struggling with right now, the very challenge that's facing you, was orchestrated for your benefit? Consider the following statements by the Greek philosopher Epictetus, where he says, do not seek to have events happen as you wish, but wish them to happen as they do happen, and all will be well with you. Or events do not just happen, but arrive by appointment. So those are interesting concepts. As you look at your life, the very things that you are faced with right now, the obstacles that are standing in your way, whether they be financial, relationship, health, what if they are being orchestrated for your development and growth? You know, we want simple answers, don't we? We want our issues to be resolved quickly. That's why people enter therapy. But when they enter therapy, and they express the issues that they're really dealing with, they're very complex issues. Relationship issues are sticky. They are challenging. Have different people's perspectives that clash on so many different things. And trying to get along with others sometimes can be so challenging, even within families. But if we look at things from a different perspective, as if this is the very thing that was orchestrated for me, for my development, and what can I gain? What can I learn from this struggle that I'm having right now with this particular issue? I'm reminded of a story that I heard a long time ago about a young boy who found a cocoon lying on the ground. As he got down on his hands and knees, he saw something inside moving around. He was a curious boy, and he patiently watched as the moth struggled to make its way out of the cocoon. He saw how much the moth was struggling and felt sympathy for it. In his sympathy and desire to help, he reached down and tore open the cocoon to free the moth from its struggle. The moth stretched out its wings and took flight. The boy watched as the moth flew higher and higher and then was horrified to see it fall to the ground and soon died. He told this tale to an older, wiser friend, seeking answers as to why the moth was not able to keep flying. His older friend explained that in his attempt to free the moth from its struggle, the boy actually harmed it. The moth's journey had been interrupted prematurely. The wise friend explained that the strength the moth needed to fly could only be developed by its efforts to free itself from its cocoon. So I'd encourage you to ponder just this little pivot of the way we might look at our challenges and problems. Would it make a difference to you if you were to see and understand that it was designed for you specifically, on point, exactly what you're dealing with right now, and this is an opportunity for you to learn, to grow, and develop in unique ways that are tailored just for you? Anyway, I would encourage you to consider that. Just think about it. Let it rest with you. And when I've had this conversation with a few other individuals just recently on this very topic, their response to me is that when they choose to pivot and look at things from that perspective, they find more inner peace. They find that they don't judge themselves so harshly, rather than constantly being critical of themselves. They say, I should have done this, I should have done that, I should have done this. No, you've always done the very best you can, given the situation that presented itself, but you're still in the process of growing. And just because you don't have the answers at this specific time, you haven't been able to overcome the addiction yet, you haven't been able to heal the relationship that you want healed so bad, just because that hasn't happened yet. The only failure is to quit struggling. And there must be some divine plan or all-knowing influence in the universe that is positive that chooses to allow us to struggle with things, to work on things. It's the very struggle with problems and challenges that gives life its meaning. Think about, pivot another way, think about having everything you desired. Think about having every single thing that you want, every obstacle, every struggle removed from you right now. What purpose would life have if that were the case? It is only in the struggles that life has its meaning and you're growing stronger, just like the moth trying to get out of its cocoon, it is developing tremendous strength to be able to deal with things as it grows stronger and bigger. And I like that metaphor for us as individuals, as we continue to emerge, continue to develop and grow stronger as human beings, we're just strengthened to meet the next challenge that comes. But not to look at challenges in a negative way and life in a negative way, it's just the nature of things. Life is challenging, but let's embrace the challenge, look at it, the obstacle is the way. And it's a great opportunity for us to work on things, to develop patience, understanding, empathy, and above all, be kind to yourself, be patient with yourself. But try, anyway, ponder that meaning that things that are happening in your life right now have been orchestrated for your benefit.