Harnessing Control for a Stress Free Life

The following statement is by M. Scott Peck. Distinguishing what we are and what we are not responsible for in this life is one of the greatest problems of human existence. It is never completely solved. For the entirety of our lives we must continually assess and reassess where our responsibilities lie in an ever-changing course of events. One of the challenges that is common with the clients that I've been working with recently, and actually for many years, is distinguishing between the things they can control and things they cannot control. In a therapy session just this morning one of my clients said, it's just so frustrating for me because most of my anxieties and worries come from things that I really cannot control. And yet I'm obsessing over them. And she said she mentioned that to her husband and he says, I've been trying to tell you that for years. And so I encouraged her to complete an assignment. It's called the Things I Can and Cannot Control assignment. We just get a piece of paper, draw a line down the middle of the paper. On one side of the paper you write the things you can control and on the other side the things I cannot control. And really it's a very powerful assignment if one actually does it and they're able to identify where a lot of their anxiety is coming from. And if we can distinguish more clearly between, you know, what I really can control and what I cannot control, it can help us navigate a little bit better in our daily lives. The challenges that we face, the problems that come our way in any given day, it's never really going to change. We're always going to be faced with obstacles. Every day is a new day. Yep, absolutely important to approach the day with a positive mindset. Stronger than I think I am. Obstacles are simply opportunities. I'm not going to be a victim of anything. Healthy sense of humor to navigate through some of the challenging things that we face. But trying to keep a healthy, healthy balancing center within ourselves is a worthwhile goal day by day. Ending the day with a mindset, I'm not going to let some of the things I'm going to come across today just naturally, whether it's driving on the road or whatever it is, I'm not going to let things irritate me. I once had an individual, he was a business person who spent most of his time on the road and he said something that made a significant difference in his life. He would always drive in the slow lane and he'd simply drive the speed limit. So he'd be in the far right-hand lane and he'd just drive the speed limit and he says it had reduced the amount of anxiety that he was dealing with on a regular basis. And he started to, because he used to be an aggressive driver, you know, in and out of cars and and then he got to the point where he said, this is driving me crazy. And so he started to calculate the difference of going from point A to point B. If he was going 70 miles an hour and then he was going 55 miles an hour. And then he just came to the conclusion, at the end of the day, if he'd just slow down and go in the right-hand lane, he would arrive at a location maybe five minutes later. It was no big deal. And so that one system change in his life has reduced his anxiety significantly. Test it out. Think about it when you're driving. See how that works for you and reducing because most of our time we're to spend on the road. And don't let road rage get you. Just drive in the right-hand lane and drive slow. Don't be an aggressive driver and see what a difference that makes in your life.