The Power of Vulnerability: Overcoming Fear and Building Community

Rhoda: [00:00:00] Hi, my name is Rhoda Mullet and I have had the pleasure of meeting Nikki and in a coaching group and I am so excited to just share the stage with her today and I am a coach.

I am a mom, an entrepreneur, and I would just love today to share my story with you about my journey with mental health. And as a little girl, I was born in 1960. So that kind of ages me and they didn't talk about mental health. And so when I was young, actually, I started going to school at five and I had so much anxiety.

I didn't want to go to school. I didn't know the name for it, but it became a part of my life. Very, very young. And I remember at 17 thinking, where are the people that are supposed to tell me how to do life? Nobody's showing up to say [00:01:00] this is normal. This is not normal. And I really struggled being in a community of people where they didn't talk about their struggles.

They didn't talk about mental health. They didn't talk about anxiety or worry. Fear might've been mentioned and I knew I struggled with fear, but it was just this place where I felt alone in my own. I got married. My husband and I had fertility issues. So that created a lot more anxiety being in a community.

I was raised and I was born into a men and a community. And so being raised in a community where being married, having kids was like, this is you did. Everybody had kids. I didn't know anybody that didn't have kids. And so struggling with infertility shot my anxiety even more through the roof. I didn't know how to fix this.

It wasn't something that you could just like [00:02:00] magically have changed. I actually ended up having two tubal pregnancies. Thankfully, both were caught in time. Actually the 1st 1 ruptured and the doctor said I was, it was amazing that I was alive to tell the story. But, we have adopted 5, beautiful, amazing children.

I can't imagine my life without them. And so that story of. Infertility, although it was super, super difficult, has turned into kind of a beautiful story. And I feel like it actually caused me to search outside of myself and my community for answers. I didn't know anybody that adopted children.

So, literally, I had to go and I had to find those people, talk to those people that might be able to give me an answer. Of what that will look like. And fast forward, my husband and I were married, between 17 and 18 years. [00:03:00] And, we've lost each other. We loved our kids, but we were struggling to connect to each other and we ended getting counseling in the process of that counseling.

One of the things that I think affected my mental health the most was negative thoughts, and they addressed the negative thoughts. There were, there was a sheet of negative thoughts that I went through, and it was like, whoa, it was like, All day long I was struggling with I'm a bad mom. I'm a bad wife.

I can't do anything right. If you struggle with that, you know how difficult it is to go through a day and not have I messed up. I'm a mistake. I mean, sometimes we internalize those mistakes. And so it was that moment, and I was 40 years old, better late than never, and I just started to own it, actually, fun side story, I didn't even own that, I had anger trouble [00:04:00] until I was 40, so yeah, go figure that one out, but, so it's been a kind of crazy, story, just coming into the fact of owning the thoughts that were running in my head and saying, what am I going to do about this?

And having my counselor coach me through the process of taking thoughts captive and really being mindful of what was true and what wasn't true because I had kind of nurtured a lot of things that were not true through my childhood. I had started when I started going to school and I felt less than and not enough and not capable of keeping up with everyone else.

It started me in this place. And I learned this through a shame coach. I started to just literally go ahead. A shame coach. I had a shame coach. I funny story. I made a [00:05:00] post on Facebook or somebody else did. I commented that I heard about this shame coach. It lives in Las Vegas, John Gunnan.

And my friend told me that he was starting his business and he would do free shame coaching. And I had gotten to a place where I was like, you know what? I think I need to address this. And so one of the questions they asked me that it changed my life forever. He's like, when. Was the first time you felt shame and it was back that little girl that was going to school and felt so out of her league and so uncomfortable.

And in that moment, sometimes they use a prop for this, but I didn't bring it today. But that little girl had a measuring tape. And she would measure herself by other [00:06:00] people and she was always on the bottom end of the measuring stick. And so it had, I took that and I was measuring myself by other people all of my life.

And so, fast forward now, I'm a coach and my chief delight is to help people know how to be themselves. To dig into the inner who they are Why they're here and what it is their gifts and talents are just being amazing that day This was in 2016. He asked me how would you like to just be rhoda?

Can you do that? And it was like this Baggage rolled off my shoulder. I feel like in some measure. I felt like I needed to be Like somebody else that was powerful or that was strong or that was better than me, smarter than me, could do [00:07:00] things, more orderly or more organized than I could. It's been an amazing journey.

I'm so grateful for it. But, there's always more growth. I'm still seeking growth, but it's exciting to actually work with people. And I find that even in those conversations where I'm coaching someone else, sometimes what they say and they're struggling with actually inspires me to make another like step forward into my, just having a better mindset, better, healthier.

Image of myself and being able to be confident in what it is that I have to bring.

Nikki: Yeah, working on yourself is never easy, but it does need to be done. And I'm glad that you have come as far as you have come because you are a wonderful person.

Rhoda: Well, I will say, I was a part of a company that, they really encouraged personal growth. And [00:08:00] I started downloading two books a day on Audible, and I would kind of keep this notepad. And every time somebody said, Oh, read this book, read this book. This book changed my life. I would listen to the book on Audible.

I think it's really important. If you want to know how to be yourself, learn how you what you're learning style is. That's just, my learning style is preferably video, but my second one is audio. And so even though I can read well, I mostly listen to books. And so I listened to so many books and I can say the person I was 13 years ago when I joined that company is like a totally different person today.

And I would attribute a lot of that just to listening to podcasts. I'm reading books, going to events where there's speakers that are, or even Ted talks are really cool. One of the most powerful Ted talks I've listened to is [00:09:00] Renee Brown. And when it came to the whole shame and vulnerability, she kind of opened my mind.

I had listened to her before I had the shame coach. And it took me down this path of owning myself and just being vulnerable with, This is where I'm at. This is what I'm struggling with. And I want the courage to grow and be my best self.

So, yeah, it's one of those things that I think that, paying attention to the people around us, a lot of times they have more to give than what we know if we open up and say, Hey, this is my struggle. I think for myself, I mentioned that I never acknowledged anger until I was, In my forties and the moment was interesting.

My husband and I pray before we go to bed and so he was praying. We just got done talking to some friends of ours that were in a struggle in the relationship and I was pretty upset with how the husband treated the wife and I was, I had listened and my husband [00:10:00] was praying and I'm praying, I'm like, okay, I'm up next.

And I was kind of wrestling with God about this cause I'm like, I am so pissed off that this man didn't treat his wife better and God was just you are just as angry as your friend who breaks plates when she's angry and I was like, what? No, I kind of wanted to argue about that and it was like I had never like done anything demonstrative like breaking plates, but that anger was holed up inside of me and so I want to say my mental health is better as I like acknowledge the negative feelings.

And then as I acknowledge them, sometimes I like find that path to convert them to a good feeling. Like, say for instance, the infertility story of mine, I was so depressed for so long. I had my first [00:11:00] two pregnancies two years into marriage. The second one for was on the four year mark.

And so, I had, all my dreams of having Children. And so, in the beginning, part of that struggle with depression and anxiety and the fear of what if I never have more than one kid or, as they were coming and, it was just One of those things that now I look back and my kids are so amazing.

I have five beautiful grandkids and I can't even imagine, I can't imagine anything different than what it is. And I'm so incredibly grateful. But in that moment, It's just so hard to see beyond our story, beyond what is present day. And so I'm grateful that time elapses and we do, we can reframe the story.

We can look at it a little differently.

Nikki: I can't, I feel you with the [00:12:00] anger thing. Mine was more tied to, the trauma that happened to me, when I was growing up. I knew where the anger was coming from, but, I didn't know how to, get rid of it. So, walls were not my friend, and they suffered for it, but, it was better than the teddy bears that the therapist recommended, because what did the teddy bear do?

He couldn't even fight back. The wall can fight back. Like, it hurts when you do it, and Therapist was like, punch a teddy bear instead. And I tried it once and I felt so bad. I was like, yeah, I'm going back to the wall. At least it doesn't make me feel bad.

Rhoda: I do think that just being able to say it is the beginning of the healing. At least for me being able to like just acknowledge and I never cussed earlier on, I was telling somebody the other day that cuss words are actually adjectives. There's those [00:13:00] moments when I don't recommend cussing, just saying, but sometimes we have to be real with what's inside to get it out.

Nikki: I was raised a Navy brat and then my stepdad turned into a trucker later on, so I cuss with the ease of a sailor with a trucker accent. It's just there. I do know how to censor myself. So that, I don't cuss around Kim. That's not gonna happen. Every once in a blue moon, something will surprise me enough, even that usually isn't even something I'd say in front of her,

been, like, wildly, surprisingly, Or weird for me to even do that.

But again, you know you go to church obviously if you're in church or in a business meeting You're not sitting there cussing because it's not appropriate like I can censor myself where it's appropriate my gaming guild Knows [00:14:00] when kim is out of town because that's usually when my mouth is off its guard, and,

That's like 15 times the last minute. I'm like, yeah, yeah, no, she's not here. So they know. And they just laugh it off and think it's funny. But, it's an expressive way to say things because saying holy crap sometimes just does not fit the situation.

Rhoda: And I kind of feel like it's like a thermometer.

Like, I sometimes. I'm surprised at what comes out of my mouth. I don't always know ahead of time what's gonna be like the words flowing out of my mouth. And so, when something comes out of my mouth that shocks me, it's like, okay, what's going on girl? I have to have a self talk that is like, okay.

You're getting kind of out of control here. You're kind of pissed off about something. So, yeah, I think it's [00:15:00] kind of thermostat, a thermometer for yourself.

Nikki: So, for me, just because, like I said, they were dialect, proper accent. Type thing. So, for me, it is, passwords aren't, for me, a bad word. They're not a good word.

They're not a bad word. They're just a word. And they sprinkle in a little bit of Explanation into what you're doing, because if you say it with conviction and somebody goes, huh, I didn't expect you to cuss there, you, you have broken their train of thought and you can sometimes if you're trying to coach them anyway, you can be like now.

What, you know, where are you, where can we go from here? Now that you've like completely derailed that thought, it wasn't a good one. Where do we go? And then it, it can help them be like, [00:16:00] okay, whoa, wait a minute. I'm not thinking that way at the moment. Now I can see how you're trying to make me see, and we can work from there because sometimes it is, Magicians that slight of hand and stuff.

Rhoda: Yeah,

Nikki: that right there, it breaks your mind for a second, right? Like your brain stutter stops because it's like, wait, no, that's not,

you can't really do that. But like, then for a second, you're that kid and it was like, that is so real, like, whoa.

And then you come back to your adult brain and you're going now, what did they do to do that? Right? And you're starting to think of smoke and mirrors, all that kind of thing.

That moment once you're like starting to think okay, well that was a mistake, but how what created it? So now you can think that way where before you were just like no, it's not a mistake It's magic, right? And you

can [00:17:00] have that moment where you're just like no, it's not magic. It is smoke and mirrors Let's figure out where the smoke in the mirrors are coming from.

Rhoda: Yeah. Yeah.

Nikki: Really just get there.

Sorry. It's a shock and awe type thing. No, I'm not cussing at people regularly, but even. If you leave off the cuss words, if you say something that is in total opposition to what the person is saying, or comes out of left field because they're not expecting you to say, oh, there's lizards outside.

What? Wait, what happened?

My, what ifs are legendary. But. It's just that moment where they have to stop thinking and reboot their brain It kind of you know It gives them the opportunity to go. Okay [00:18:00] Lizards outside is a thing because that's where they belong But you know, this is what I was talking about and maybe I can see now where the smoke and mirrors are Does that make sense?

Rhoda: Yeah. And I like to say cuss words or adjectives. They are describing how you feel. It's, to me, it's nothing more. Some people get super offended. I feel like I pay attention when somebody cusses because something's going on, especially if they're not a cusser and they actually let out a cuss word.

I feel like it's the revealer of something that's In their soul in their heart, that's struggling. And, I've noticed that with my kids. I've noticed that with other people and if you can look at it and say, okay, that's if you really struggle with hearing cuss words, if you realize that, hey, there's.

This person is actually hurting. Something is [00:19:00] hurting inside of them and they just need somebody to listen to them right now. There is something that I'd like to tell that about that. I feel like contributed a lot. I talked about being with people who dropped like books. Book names and the things that have helped change them.

But I think, if you can create a community or find a community where you feel safe and being yourself. It is almost magical how that, that changes you. And, I'm a leader in celebrate recovery. And, I was a participant, nine years ago and, we left them at my church and I was really struggling with a lot of rejection and stuff.

And I got an invite and I'm like, okay, that's not for me. I'm not a drug addict. I don't drink. Well, thanks. It was a super safe place and a place where I could go, [00:20:00] I could worship God, I could be in small groups, I could talk, I could not talk, I could just listen, but it was a part, it was a healing part of my journey.

So I think finding things that work for you that can like assist you forward in your journey and sometimes just being with other people that aren't perfect Allows you to be okay with your imperfections and start working on them.

Nikki: That makes

Rhoda: sense.

And I have created a community as well, like within my coaching group that where people can come in and they can ask questions. I drop a teaching every week and then we have a Q and a where we just talk about, whatever the topic was. And so I think that, having a place that you have a voice.

You're heard, you're listened to. I think all of us want to be listened to and, it makes [00:21:00] a difference and I don't think it matters where it is, who it is, but it matters that we have that place that we're safe and we get to be heard. We, sometimes when we're just in our head, our thoughts get so crazy that it's just they almost like our thoughts hijack ourselves, we're hijacked by our thoughts, but then we can obsess about the fact that we even have the thoughts.

Nikki: So in my, I think it was second episode. We talked about, networking and then for the mental health part, I did a part where. whole thing on gamifying, going to, public meetings, being in public.

And I have to do that every second Tuesday of the month because I have to go be in person and in person for me or anything is difficult. I don't like it. But one of the things is sometimes people, when they get in their cars, they're not listening to anything. They're just letting their [00:22:00] brain do its thing.

And if you are going to something important, if you are going to something that you are already nervous about, you letting your brain fester and do its own thing is not going to get you to that networking meeting. That is going to get you to turn your car around at some point and go home. So, making sure that your brain is occupied with a podcast or listening to music while you're on your ride there Like not give your brain enough time to go.

Yeah. No, this is too scary. Go home bonus. Somebody else grab you because then their head isn't in the same place. Your head is in and maybe they don't turn around. Even if you ask.

Rhoda: Yeah, so I'm curious, what is it for you? What is it for you that you in a good space?

Nikki: So, usually for me, [00:23:00] it's music. You can identify my mood by the music i'm listening to and the music i'm skipping.

 I love I have pandora i've had pandora since like it started way back when and so like it knows me pretty well, but every once in a while i'm in one of those moods and what is the song again? Disturb is on the rate, I've got disturbed going and instead of anything funny or, country or relaxing or that kind of thing, I listened to everything except for jazz.

Or classical never really gotten into them classical. I can listen to if I'm like doing work because it just puts that music in my head and it's fine, but I cannot listen to jazz. It agitates the holy crap out of me. And I just cannot, for some reason, I don't even know what it is. It does it, but my nerves go haywire and I'm like, yeah, I'm not listening to you, but [00:24:00] it's, and it's not like I have a favorite.

You know musician like there's nobody I look at and go. I want every single thing that they play No, I want the songs that I like because I like buy the song and not buy The album right or by the person the people I do listen to like disturbed I don't know anything about them except for I know that the lead singer used to have a piercing in his lip Fine, but he took them out now because he said he's too old for it.

I don't know what that means, but that's fine and He just I don't know. I like his music. He has a great voice The fact that it sounds the same in person than it does on the radio completely amazes me, because most people can't do that. But I also am not going to a concert because too many people.

Rhoda: Yeah, I think for me, I don't know if you ever feel like, no, you've checked out [00:25:00] of everything. so for me, when I feel numb, I will listen to music till I start to cry or I start to feel something. So I think in the mental health arena, what is your go to, what is your go to, to break out of that numb feeling?

And for me, I'll, it was kind of interesting. My son, it might've been last weekend, we had a campfire and he was playing music, Bluetooth to a speaker and he was going through a bunch of songs that I had, played like, when we left the Mennonite church and I was really feeling rejected and I was really feeling a lot of the different feels about that.

And it was really fascinating to hear these songs he was playing. And I was like, man, I remember they brought back this memory of sitting there so discouraged. And it was actually a plus thing. I was like, Whoa, these are good songs. [00:26:00] But for me, they were the thing that pulled me from the depths of despair into.

I can keep going. And so we think if we have those things that we know work for us, use it. It's different things for different people, but for me, I am a Christian, casting crowns. There was one of their albums that I literally played almost on repeat. I identified with him cause I heard I had the live, version.

I got the live version of it and he told a story about being ADHD. And how he didn't feel like he fit in. And I connected with that feeling like the odd one out. Cause I think from the time I was four or five, I felt like the odd one out. I started connecting to the message of his songs and it made me feel like I can be myself.

I can be something more than what I feel like I am today.

Nikki: So my playlist has ADHD. [00:27:00] My music goes from Christian to heavy rock to heavy metal to country, you know, and everything in between. Like, it just. Oh Holy Night, then it turns into Eminem, which turns into a country song, which turns into Disturbed doing something.

I don't know why I keep saying Disturbed, because they're not sponsoring this episode. I listen to everything. And it's a widespread event. I have never in my life bought a live CD of anything because the crowd yelling while somebody is doing something annoys me.

And I'm going to say this and people can shoot me if they want to. Not in real life, please. I wasn't asking for that. But, when you get Christian audio, music files, sometimes if you get the live version, [00:28:00] the three minute song turns into a 10 minute song, and I am not here. I do not want to hear the chorus 152 times while you start speaking mumbo jumbo and are just like, We feel the spirit because I'm not there like I am quite sure that in a large group of people you can feel the spirit if y'all are doing your thing, but me sitting here doing my thing.

I'm working. I'm going to just sit here. While you sing for 10 minutes, the same song. No, thank you. I will say this, but, I can listen to things, but live versions, there's usually the crowd screaming in the background. The person singing doesn't sound anywhere near as good, which kind of drives me nuts.

And so I kind of just listened to studio versions because I know it's a Fake voice, but [00:29:00] I'd rather listen to that

Rhoda: So some of my kids like do like Two minutes or less of a song and then they skip skip skip. Are you a skipper?

Nikki: Not usually unless the song starts taking 17 years and 20 days Like i'll be like, okay i'm so done god i'm like if you play this three Notes Over and over and over and over. Yeah,

Rhoda: and I would be I would tell my kids I'm just getting into it and they were ready to skip it.

It's an interesting thing. I'm learning from you. I think of just yeah

Nikki: It should be done like the three and a half minutes of the song is done what they're now doing is getting Praise and worship part of the events that I never really even when it was happening in my church. I go to a different type of [00:30:00] church.

Now, there is no band, but like, they're drawing it out because they're putting, you know, communion down for everybody or whatever. And that takes 16 years in a day. So now they're drawing that out for you to, and so it just kind of, oh, gosh, please stop doing that.

Please stop notes over and over again Please stop saying the same Chorus over and over again. We get it. We know what you're doing. Pick another song If you have that much time pick another song and do that that would work better for me much rather hear two songs Than one song that lasted enough time for you to play three songs, but that's a person You know, it's kind of personal when you're doing that kind of thing.

I mean I love music. It has helped me get through some very dark times. But at the same time, I get [00:31:00] agitated by, repetitive, I love music. I can listen to music at high volume, but as soon as you start doing repetitive noise instead of music, I can't listen to it at such a high volume anymore and I'm probably going to skip so that I can get to the high volume stuff with something else.

Yeah, I guess I'm an odd duck.

Rhoda: Yeah, so how is it with movies then for you? And I don't want you can you shift your mood through a movie or is that too long?

Nikki: So the last movie I watched people are going to get on me so, a couple months ago, maybe six months to a year ago, one of my gamer friends was like You cannot have not watched the princess bride like This is sacrilegious.

We have to fix this and I was like, okay fine so, He [00:32:00] watched it with me to make sure that I actually watched it because you know He didn't trust me to watch it which is fair because I probably would not have if he just said go watch it And so we watched it with him with me Commenting, that guy's Lord Farquaad and that actually is spot on, but he's kind of actually worse.

 So we get to the end of it and he's like, how did you like it? I was like, It was okay. It's a movie. Like, I'm not one of those people who get super possessive and, like, wants to know everything about like, it was a movie. It was good. I didn't tell you to stop it at any point because I didn't want to watch it anymore because I've done that.

But, the inconceivable guy was hilarious. And then he died and I was like, ha ha, dumb butt.

 So I mean it was a good movie and I can see why people like it But I don't see [00:33:00] why it's become this cult classic and everybody You know knows every single line of it like no But I can sit through movies. I usually don't I don't watch movies. I don't watch tv I listen to music I read books.

 I can't listen to Books on tape and actually learn anything because my brain is going too fast and I have to be doing and if I'm doing hard enough, I'm not hearing the words. Correct. You know, fully. So, yeah, it's 1 of those. I don't have the attention span to do that. I have to read the book myself.

Take my notes.

Rhoda: Yeah, my, my recent movie that I thought was really good was inside out and it's an animated movie, but it talks about, like, emotions and feelings and stuff. And so I kind of enjoy, pardon me. Is that the one with the little red guy? Who's [00:34:00] angry?

They the newest one. She became a teenager.

So they added anxiety and, 1 of my kids saw it in the theater and there were grown people crying. Like, because it touched, because not being enough, not feeling enough, the whole anxiety piece adding in was like, super powerful. And I really, I feel like for me, sometimes that is a way that I feel.

Oh, there, they wouldn't even make a movie about this. If that wasn't a real deal, if there weren't more people in the universe that, struggle. And so for me, it can help me not feel alone, but I love that one just for the emotional dynamics of humanity, if you know what I'm saying.

Nikki: I have not seen those movies. I've just seen the commercials, not even commercials. Ads, I've seen ads about it. Yeah. I think they call trailers. No [00:35:00] trailers.

Trailers are usually a couple minutes long. I'm getting little blips of them like, oh, okay. You know, that kind of thing. Or I don't think it's either of 'em. I don't think it's a trailer, but I don't think it's what I said either. I think it's just, you know, clips from the movie.

Rhoda (2): Yeah,

Nikki: it helps people to identify what they're feeling, then that's great.

I work with therapists and I say it with an S, because I actually have 2 of them. My therapists are great, but, I'm weird. So it ends up being more than the normal amount. So, but, in Maryland when I lived there my therapist went on maternity leave for six weeks And there was just no way I was going to go to a new therapist for six weeks just to go back to my old one because trying to explain me to a new [00:36:00] person Takes a lot out of me and I didn't want to do that for somebody I was only going to be talking to for six weeks.

So I would have ended up not talking to the person though. I was like I'll wait until you come back and then Kim was like, you weren't doing as good as you were when you had the therapist, my sister's a therapist and she's willing to speak with you, while your therapist is out. Well, my therapist.

So I started talking with her and going great. My therapist came back. And after like one or two visits, she was like, yeah, I'm not going to be doing this anymore. I want to be at home with my baby. And I was like, Oh, Kim sister took back over, we moved to Texas, and I had a therapist who, while being a lovely woman, every time I said I was struggling with something, or something was [00:37:00] bothering me, and it turned into, Oh, you just have so much trauma.

You've just got so much trauma. Yeah, no kidding. That's why I'm here. I'm here. Could you not say that? Duh.

So, I mean, I kept talking to her because I had to have like an in, you know, state one that the meds people would deal with so that they could tell I was going to therapy. But I still had him sister in the background because that wasn't as helpful as you would think. Having someone's answer constantly be, You've just been through so much trauma.

It's not actually make you feel better. It actually makes it worse because you're like, Oh, great. They're patting me on my head. Great. This is exactly what I need. I moved here to art. And

 oh, I actually, after I got counseling, I [00:38:00] actually, did a course on counseling and several different things, thinking that someday I'd be a counselor, but I switched to being a coach because coaching, you're looking at a goal you want to get to.

Rhoda: And you're working toward that goal. And yes, I do have counselor training behind me, but it's something that I, hear you when you say, when they keep pulling you back into something, it's hard. And it's not that you shouldn't address it, but you do. I think 1 thing that is important to know is that I can change some of these things.

You know that I am powerful enough to find a way through and you know that you can look back 10 years and say I'm at a better spot than I was 10 years ago.

And so I think that you know if you have a therapist or what whoever you go to and they [00:39:00] actually are in forward motion as well as dealing with the past It can be super, encouraging, you know, to be able to believe if somebody believes with you for something more and something better, it's incredible.

Nikki: Yeah. My therapist that I have here in Arkansas has been really good. She's right up there with Kim's sister. Because first of all, they listen to me. You don't know how tough it is to get somebody to actually listen to me. I have a sister who's a pathological liar that can get everybody and their brother to believe her in her lies, but I can tell the truth and everybody's like, yeah, you're lying.

Wow. So, but I have, she listens to me. I warned her on the first day. I was like, if you ever tell me that I have so much trauma. [00:40:00] We're gonna have a fight on our hands because I'm not doing it again. I'm not going to stick with the therapist who does that again, but like, she has been a wonderful therapist and she has helped me to realize a lot of things, including the fact that this last week, we talked about some of the diagnoses that I have and she's like, I think that these diagnoses were done while you were in the fire.

And people took things out of context and said that you had these things. That you don't have because now that you're in a calm living situation I don't see any of what they were saying you have like I do still have mental health problems Let's not get twisted like they're still there, especially the so much trauma part of things But it's not in the direction that I was led to believe I had so it's kind of [00:41:00] interesting to sit down and go Why do you think you have that?

Well, I was told I did When were you, when was that? I was like, Oh, well, in the middle of being, being verbally, physically and everything else abused, Oh, well, that's why they gave you that diagnosis because you were going through heck and they didn't care. Like they weren't taking that as part of it.

They just thought you were being overly dramatic. So that kind of thing happens.

Rhoda: So, yeah, I think that picking or choosing a therapist or someone to work with. That can validate who you are and that believes in you and believes in a bigger person. It's amazing that she actually saw that and said, Hey, That isn't the best part of who you are. And I don't see that in you right now.

Cause that's gotta be like super encouraging [00:42:00] for you.

Nikki: Yeah. I am. So I had been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. The person who was abusing me at the time, mentally, physically, and all that good jazz was like borderline personality disorder means sometimes you have it. And sometimes you don't.

Which is not how that works right there. But then like, I've been watching criminal minds reruns. So I'm like, I don't know, I'm like in season five or six at the moment. And, I'm sitting there and like two different serial killers at BPD. And I'm like, I'm not a serial killer. I don't want to go kill somebody.

Another person who has BPD was like. The town passed around toy and that's not me. So like I went to her going, okay, I am not mean [00:43:00] manipulative. I am not the town toy. How am I getting this diagnosis? And she's like, I don't think you have that. Okay, that's better because that was freaking me out because like, this isn't fitting me.

Right? I'm at all ever in my entire life. So it was kind of interesting. But, it was mostly like, why is she was like, mostly like, why do you think you have that? And I was like, was told I had them. And they were for me having diagnosis isn't something that should make you sit down and not do anything.

Oh, I have bpd. That means I just said That means that I can't handle situations and I just need to like separate myself and go lay down. No Not at all. That means you have to work on [00:44:00] yourself to boundaries around you so that people don't do some things because If you don't want to be touched make sure people know that so that you're not flying off the handle because somebody's touching you but at this time that doesn't give you the right to just start yelling at people for no reason or To be the town toy because I it's I have a mental illness.

That means that I want to do this So i'm going to do this. That's not what that means. That means you need You know, watch yourself and say, okay, well here, there's a problem here and I need to, put boundaries around myself that protect me and like, I'm not going to go out to drink at bars because I'm going to put myself in a situation where I'm not going to be safe.

It's a good boundary to have, you can go home or [00:45:00] whatever and have people over and do it that way so that you are safe. But like, whatever you do, you know, whatever choices you make and whatever you do, you have to take accountability of them, not because, and blame it on your, not, sorry, you have to take responsibility for the actions that you take, not blame them on your mental illness.

Because I can sit here all day long and say that Tempt to say because like I said, my therapist doesn't believe I have it but like I was also diagnosed with bipolar another one. We don't think I have and bipolar and bpd are kind of Interchangeable sometimes in some of their stuff. So If they you know, if they're not real sure they might diagnose you with both just to be for catching flies here.

 Yeah, like You can't just say, well, I did this because as a person with, bipolar, I was manic and [00:46:00] I couldn't help myself. Okay, completely understand. You could be manic, but there should be boundaries around things. Right.

Rhoda: Yeah. And I would like to, I'd like to pick up on that boundaries thing, cause for me, I was an empath.

I would, personally feel like HSP probably better describes, who I am as far as like sensory and so forth. But because I felt the pain of other people, a lot of times I would feel their pain and I would have zero boundaries. Right. Right. Right. And then I would feel hurt by the consequences.

And there was a point where I just had to realize You really did this to yourself by not saying no, there was no, you know, you could have said no at any point. You could have said, Hey, I can't do it today. There's many, many ways to [00:47:00] say no. And sometimes we need to practice. If you're an empath, if you are a people pleaser, if you want favor of people and you just do.

Learn those boundaries is super important. I am proud of you for for figuring that out because some people I mean, I was literally Probably almost in my fifties till I, until I started working on boundaries and that sucked, I'll just say it is like this huge sucking sound that like literally vacuums all your energy away because you were just jumping through the hoops that other people create for you.

And we actually are powerful people. We get to say, no, we got to say not today. Yeah.

Rhoda (2): And it's powerful.

Rhoda: And so if you're, yeah, and I think the sooner you do, and, I think it's scary [00:48:00] to make boundaries for me. I love my relationships and I never wanted to hurt a relationship by setting a boundary.

 My reason for not was I don't want to hurt anybody. And you know what? I hurt myself and I hurt other people by not setting boundaries. So if you're one of those people out there and you can't set a boundary cause you're afraid of hurting them, you're hurting you and you're hurting them more by not speaking up by not setting a boundary or by not saying I got to take care of myself today as a self care day.

No, I can't do that for you because I I am feeling overwhelmed. I need to take time for me. I need to do this. And it's not selfish. It's actually think about the fact that I get to show up better when I take care of myself. So having the boundaries to say, this is where I am right now. This is what I'm doing for me.

It actually also teaches [00:49:00] other people they can do that for themselves. And they can have their own boundaries. And so I feel like, by example, it's a powerful place. So I'm proud of you for that.

Nikki: I have, in my next couple of episodes, not sure where it will end up, but I have a whole thing about the difference between boundaries.

And rules and what is appropriate when because you can say all day that everything you've said is a boundary, but some of them are rules and some of them are boundaries. And you have to learn the difference so

that,

 You're not constantly saying, well, you're stepping on my boundary.

 No, you're stepping on my rule. This is a rule. You had rules when you were a kid. So you should understand this. This is a rule. You can't do this. Like a rule is you're not allowed to wear shoes inside the house. I don't want your dirty mess all over my house. So take your shoes off at the door and put them neatly wherever they belong.

Right the neatly [00:50:00] part gets a lot but there's a difference between saying that I have this rule that you have to put your shoes off or My boundary is that nobody walks in my house unless they have socks on only But that's not a boundary. That's a rule. And so the it just gets complicated if you're not sure what is what so that should be on an upcoming episode

Rhoda: Yeah, that's a good idea. And they actually there are things that we do for respect for each other and some of those rules of respect. They may be different for different people. I don't know if you got that, um, in the south. I lived in the south for a while in North Carolina. And so, that whole your shoes come off the minute you get in at the work.

And so, There's some people, you know, I live in Wisconsin now, and so [00:51:00] there's people here that they don't think twice about coming in and walking all over the house in their shoes and think about it

Nikki: up there that is taller than some toddlers and y'all are keeping your shoes on in the house. That would be a note.

Because I'm telling you now, I will flip my daggone lid. If I step in something wet and my stock gets wet, that's the most disgusting feeling on this planet and now you're making it something that is zero degrees. Are you kidding me? I will. We will have a fight. There will be

Rhoda (2): no,

Rhoda: I think you can take that in a way people.

 Especially when there's snow, but then other people may say, oh, my feet are cold. I don't want to take my shoes and socks off because they're warmer in my shoes. And it's like, get some slippers, [00:52:00] right?

Nikki: Get slippers. You need to change your socks to anyway, because they're probably wet. Like, ew, why would you want to stay in wet socks?

I'm telling you, wet socks and I do not get along, obviously. Yeah.

But, okay. We have talked on different mental health topics. Was there, any last words? Not that we're about to guillotine you or anything, but you know, do you have something to kind of wrap up the things you've said?

Rhoda: I feel like for myself, my coaching is about teaching people not to be who I think they should be, but being their best self. As a coach, my philosophy is the answers are within you, not within me. Like I'm just helping you find what's already in yourself and what your gifts are, what your talents are, [00:53:00] understanding your personality and being able to show up your best amazing self for the world.

And I've created, different, teaching programs and my community, the Quest for Authenticity, just a place to, be yourself and to get some teaching training about that, because I feel like, in my story, Some of my strong mental health challenges were because I was trying to perform for other people.

I was caught up in how I was in comparison to someone else or, you know, what I thought somebody expected of me. And so I feel like the best we can come forward for ourselves or even the people around us is to really Know who we are, be honest with [00:54:00] this is who I am. This is what I struggle with.

 These are the things I'm going to work on because I don't like this about myself too much. And so I'm going to work on this area. My personality wise, my personality are not really good listeners typically. I listened to something maybe six, seven years ago and I realized, and it's because I always have something to say.

This internal brain is just like pouring out. And if I don't like consciously stop and say, I am interested in hearing Nikki's story and I want to be able to listen to every piece of that and understand who Nikki is. And it's just, it's something I had to work on to just kind of. Okay, right now is my time to listen to this person that's in front of me.

And so I [00:55:00] feel like, I love helping people be their selves, be their best selves. And so, if there's any way I can, help you, I would love for you to read out and have, that first exploratory ball. And I also just want to applaud Nikki for what she's doing. The ability to give good information out there and help people know they're not alone.

I'm so proud of you, Nicky, just for putting yourself in this position of being a powerful influencer, to the people around you that need your information and your words of encouragement.

Hey everyone, thanks for sticking with us. Before we dive into our next topic, I just want to take a quick moment to remind you to like this video, subscribe to our channel, and hit that notification bell. That way, you'll always be the first to know when a new episode drops. And we want to hear from you.

What topics are you most excited about? Drop your thoughts in the comments [00:56:00] below. Your feedback helps us create content that you love. We've got some exciting stuff coming your way, so don't miss out. Now, let's switch gears and jump into our next discussion.

Nikki: We are for the business side of things today. We're going to talk about, why we need it. And went to cut the line because as a techie with a Lot of software behind me.

I know that there are some of them that I probably could have done without but there are some of them that I am so fortunate to have found because they are like The best things ever can't even say since sliced bread anymore people, but technology matters for entrepreneurs because of a few things.

1st of all, if you're using paper and [00:57:00] pencil to do, you know, all of it, even if it's a notebook. You're going to have to search through multiple notebooks. Sometimes you're going to have parts of conversations and one part of the notebook and parts of the conversation and another part, because, you know, you have these meetings three days apart and you can't combine the notes now.

And especially now with AI, you had those two different meetings, if you put them through AI, then it would be able to tell you what the main points are for both and give you ideas for the next meeting. You can't do that if it's on paper. AI cannot read your paper. Those picture taking things that say they can read the words cannot read my handwriting because it's loopy.

Doesn't like my handwriting at all. I get the weirdest things when it comes to that. I have to [00:58:00] deliberately, you know, handwrite certain things and because my is very big and loopy and so that I can go fast and it's fine. So for instance, I use the remarkable to, it is a tablet or, but it's just a writing tablet.

This thing can create PDFs of the content I write in it and then I have it on my computer and I can do different things with that PDF that thing I have had since 2020 because I saw that and went, oh, yeah, that's what I need. Because I was using paper at the time, and I'd have, like, four conversations with one person and they'd be on, you know, six different pages, and I was just like, this is not working.

Now, I can go back to the same note and put the information in there. Not a problem. Love my Remarkable. [00:59:00] I also have a tablet, because, I have an iPad tablet, because I thought that it would help me do kind of the same thing. Before I got the remarkable and it is a very big disappointment for me, the writing in it again.

It cannot read my handwriting. And so I have lots of fun problems with that. But having the technology, if you have good handwriting and you want to use the iPad, go use the iPad. But at least have it be somewhere where you're collecting your notes electronically so that you're not stuck, right?

Rhoda: So the remarkable tablet, my daughter has shown me the ipad one. So tell me give me a pitch You said a little bit about the difference between the remarkable and the ipad. Why would you choose? And you said a little bit, but just expand on that a little bit more why you would choose one versus the other.[01:00:00]

Nikki: So, you're remarkable it is specifically for writing, it will take down exactly what you're. I can then take them from here through an app on my computer and export them there and have the PDF on my computer within a couple minutes, depending on how big the file is and the connection, right?

I can move people's, even their color PDFs into this so that I can read them. This is a PDF I did from one of my, perplexity, research, information. So I created a PDF of it, and I was able to put it on here. It's black and white, except for it's the reverse black and white that most people are used to.

I use dark mode on everything, so this is how it printed out. But it's got all the pages. The PDF [01:01:00] and I can with probably a white pencil in this case, write all over this, delete the stuff I write and everything else you can,

 Do different colors, but they won't show up until you go to put them into PDF.

 But this is specifically for writing. The only thing you can do on here is write or draw. Not real sure about drawing cause I don't do it, but pretty sure you can. Your iPad

is meant to be a mini computer,

so it's got this glossy front on it that, I mean the pencil glides on it. Sure. But, this has a matte finish on it so that you actually feel like you're writing on a piece of paper instead of Oh, okay. Cool. The thing from the iPad, this thing cannot, this thing tries to convert whatever you're writing [01:02:00] into a text format.

So it tries to, if you put, oh, and it tries to make it the text format. Instead of just letting your handwriting stay.

Now there's

something I'm not doing. And if people have a better idea of how I should be doing that, then put your comments down below. I am perfectly willing to listen to somebody else's opinion on this.

I'm not the biggest fan of Apple. I got the iPad because of the pencil and the, I needed the big size for what I do. And I needed a pencil, the Samsungs that I was looking at to do, in order to have a pencil, I'd had to go down to something that was almost as big as my phone. Just a little bit bigger than my phone.

And that's not as helpful as you would think when you're trying to look at apps too.

Mm-Hmm. . So

it works for what it does. All my apps are great. I can find them. I've had to download music from the cloud, so yeah, that's fine. It does its thing having [01:03:00] both I get both worlds and i'm fine but the remarkable is kind of well, they're both kind of expensive.

We're talking about an ipad So as soon as you bring apple into it, you know, it's expensive. There is no On my version, there's nowhere to plug in headphones, but it does do bluetooth. I have bluetooth headphones Galore because like i've said before me and those get along real well for sound and my sensitivity to it The Remarkable doesn't connect to a headset because there's no sound.

Simple as that. It does have different pre built templates that you can use, and there's also a template maker that you can use that to make your own templates. Templates usually have to be one page only. So there's that, but you can pull in different things for different pages.

You just have to have both of the templates in there and then do [01:04:00] it. However, it is you wanted to do it so that helps you keep your notes in 1 place. And then you can also save them to the computer so that they're not all just sitting on that and not doing anything. And that makes it so you can share your work with other people who can then run with it and help you do whatever it is that they need to do to help you.

I use all kinds of software. And like I said, I'm going to be making videos that showcase, the software that I use. I am not one of those car salesmen that gets in front of a computer for a piece of software. So please don't expect that out of me, but, they will be like, this is why I use it.

I'm very sure you can find a reason to use it. But it's all in kind of what you need now Every business I don't care [01:05:00] how small needs a crm. I have access to a crm So if you're looking for one, please contact me i'd be very Glad to help you find the one that would fit you And not just the one that I have an affiliate link to I know some others that are pretty good And i'm willing to like Find something that fits what you need.

You also need something to plan. Usually for planning. I think Trello works best because you can either do that as able, like you would for like an, that looks like an Excel sheet type thing, or you can have the cards, which is what I use. And then you can put images to cards. So then you have like four different tasks that you regularly have to do.

You can make templates of those four tasks with different pictures and then you know, hey, Today the donkey is the image I [01:06:00] need to do Whatever it is i'm doing next, you know The next time it might be stitch that is the picture of what you need to do And it kind of just draws your eye faster than the title.

There is also you can connect zap zap year zap. I don't know how to say that word to prelo and then connect it to something else you can usually connect that to your CRM and whatever. You also need a scheduler. If you're meeting people, right? If you're scheduling meetings of any kind,

I hate the conversation that goes. Oh, so you want to meet with me? Well, I have time on monday at 2 p. m. That doesn't work for you. How about you? I don't work on tuesdays. How about wednesday? Wednesday at two doesn't work for you. How about wednesday at three? Does that work for you? No, like i'm not having this conversation every time I will strangle somebody i'll do that part since then [01:07:00] I'm not doing

Rhoda: That was cute. That was cute, Nikki.

Nikki: I'm not doing it. It makes my brain matter pour out of my ears. It just, I'm not doing it. So, I use TidyCal. I used to use Calendly. And I'm so sorry, Calendly, if you see this. But, they're expensive. I think I was paying something like 300 a year. Okay? They're expensive.

TidyCal. Is on app sumo, and you can get that for 29. Lifetime you will never have to pay for it again, right with that Tidy cow, you can make as many different types of calendaring events that you want. So I have a 1530 hour and my [01:08:00] podcast which is two hours Great. I can also set up one that requires payment Like if you're going to meet with me for this thing Then you have to pay for it and it will let you them pay straight through that.

So It's got a lot of different options and 29 bucks lifetime can't beat that

Rhoda: Wow, I'll have to check that out because I don't have a calendar yet except with what's in a to z, but I would actually be interested in hearing some more about that

add another time.

Nikki: Yeah, we can do that.

But there is a dark side of tech And that is, I love my tech. I have lots of tech. Each piece of tech costs something, right? Most tech is not free. You're gonna pay [01:09:00] monthly, yearly, lifetime. Lifetimes is easy because you get that for the rest of eternity. So that's fine. Love those apps. But the alternative is you're paying five dollars a month.

20 bucks, 50 bucks a month. one of my things I'm paying like 55 bucks a month for, but it's really helpful. So I'm not trying to get rid of it yet. I am trying to like, restructure things so that I'm not paying as much maybe, but I'm not sure if I can even do that. The other thing is that, sometimes.

We get told about a new piece of software, or we see that ad, and we're like, that would be great. So for me, there is a new Remarkable coming out that is going to have color, but it's going to be a little bit thicker. Just a little bit bigger, a little bit heavier. [01:10:00] I love the one I have. I love the size of it.

I don't want it to be any heavier. It's fine. It's very light the way it is. And I like the features it has. Do I want color? Sure. That wouldn't miss it. You know, that would be great. I would love to be able to write in blue ink sometimes, but I don't think that the price tag is going to be in my purview for a while.

Because that one is over 500 bucks.

Nikki (2): Wow.

Nikki: Kim is like, your remarkable is fine. And I'm like, yes it is. So, there's that. Not getting it. But, it's like one of those things where it's shiny. Right? Shiny object syndrome doesn't just come when you're looking at research or whatever, right? You're looking for the next best thing to help you do whatever.

That comes when you're looking at tech too, because again, you want the next best thing that's going to help you do your job better, easier, faster, [01:11:00] whatever. The truth is, if you are using something and it is working, you should not be changing it every five months when something new comes along. You should not be Constantly switching back and forth.

Now, there is a difference between outgrowing your software and just wanting to change because you've heard of something new. Right? Like, I already have a Remarkable. It works great for me. I love my Remarkable. Again, I'm not sponsored by anybody. I just love my Remarkable. Okay, the draw of having something that's going to be in color.

It's like, Ooh, maybe I do want, no, I can't know my remarkable spine. I'm good. I'm great. You know, there's that now. But at the same time, if you're in a, you know, project management [01:12:00] software, or you're in a CRM and it's working for you and you're doing things and you're getting things done and you have a system that uses it, you're going to have to change your entire system just to follow the next fad.

And how long is that going to last? How long before you have to switch to a different thing because that one really didn't fit what you needed? How long before you're like, I have to go back to the other thing because none of my systems work anymore because they were all based off of the last thing. And the new things, 100 more a month.

Why are you doing that to yourself? You already paid for a year of the last service. Go back to that and stop paying the new thing. You have to make sure you're not stealing all your profits to go back into more tech. If you are at a spot where you're outgrowing your CRM, you want to get with somebody who can help you find a new one.[01:13:00]

You don't want to go out and do the research because you're going to go, Ooh, shiny. I want that one without. Properly doing your research, you're going to end up in something that has less capabilities than the last thing and isn't going to help you any more than that other thing did. Right? So, not helpful.

You want to set a budget, as you start, you want to have a budget for how much you're going to spend on software, even if you have to adjust it a little bit back or forward, because, your CRM is going to cost you 100 more than you thought, but it's what your industry is using.

And so that's where you feel you need to go. Well, then adjust your budget. This is the beginning. We don't always know what we're doing. But once you're in it, and you're like, okay, well, this is what my budget is going to be. If your next CRM is going to cost [01:14:00] more, you have to come up with a very good reason.

What are the good things? What are the bad things? You know, pros and cons, write your list out, because seeing the pros and cons on paper, or in your remarkable. But seeing them written down and physically writing them down yourself. Here are the good things about the software I'm using now.

Here are the cons. Here are the good things about the software I want to move to. Here are the cons. And if your cons are matching up, they still can't do anything that your old one can, that's not something you want to switch to. A hundred percent of it's more expensive if it's cheaper, maybe it's something to look at if it's doing most of your pros and the same amount of not, you know, non con, then that's fine too.

Right? So, you might do that to lower your price to store, but that would not be something to move to if it costs more because. It's not doing [01:15:00] you any favors. It's not giving you any of your cons as pros now. It's just the same thing. New packaging. And then anything you can do a free trial run on is magic.

If it's a CRM or anything else, put a list of five people into it on your free trial basis and see what happens. See how it moves. You know, run those people like you would normally in the other one and see what happens. The day before your trial ends, go, okay, did these five people benefit from being in this CRM, or was it 100 times harder than you thought it was going to be?

And none of your people are going to be able to learn it because let's face it, not everybody can use a computer, in my opinion, not all people should be allowed to use computers. Not touchy.

And then once you have what you're doing, all of your software features once a year or [01:16:00] so, I would go through and make sure that the software you're using is still the best bet for the money. So, if you're using, good software that is working for your company, but it has a couple of cons that you would really like.

To see if you can get something that has all of your pros plus a couple of those cons in it and then you go in and start looking at software and find that a lot of your pros to get those cons are going to move into the con section. It's obviously something you're not wanting to move into, but you might find that diamond in the rough and, find.

Something that is like all your pros are pros. Your cons are now pros. Like nothing is bad. And then you get in there and you start working with it and you're like, okay, it does have a couple of cons, but not nearly as bad as what I had before. So this is great. Let's do this and then you move and I can tell you now moving from one crm to another is an absolute pain in the [01:17:00] neck.

So make sure it is 100 percent worth it.

I moved software for a company. We switched it because they were worried about, the company selling customer information and, they moved to the new software. We then found out because, as more information, we did test run first and was like, yeah, this will work. And then as we started connecting, you know, accounting and moving things over, totally didn't work. So we had to switch back. And so the switching and all that was just a royal, very royal pain in the neck.

100 percent do not recommend switching back and forth if you can avoid it. But we wouldn't have found the issues if we hadn't have attached accounting and then started trying to attach more people to it. So, sometimes you have to go a little bit further to find the con and then it's not something you can live [01:18:00] with.

So, it's tough. Don't cancel anything until you're settled in your new 1 and think that it's great.

Do you have any software you use regularly?

Rhoda: I'm not super techie, so I don't have a lot of extra software. I mean, I have some basic stuff for like. doing PDFs and stuff like that. But, I have a Samsung note and so I actually, use the stuff that goes with that. Yeah. I actually am that person that goes to the finds the I. T. junkie that knows everything about everything. And I'm like, okay, can you do this for me? Or, how do you do this? Like cut through the chase, cut through all the BS to, finding that because I have this, I'm not sure if this is a curse or a blessing, but I have this thing that I will not [01:19:00] let an inanimate object get the best of me.

And so if I get in the grind with a computer, I'm going to win. I don't care how long it takes me. And so I stay away from some of that stuff because I know that I have this propensity to have to conquer and. It is not my, it's not my best thing. I will call Nikki, what's the best thing to use? Or, Hey Nikki, can you do this for me?

Because. If I get in it what it would cost for me to have you do it for me would be much cheaper than the amount of hours That I would put in trying to figure it out. So I learned that about myself. Gotta be realistic i'm probably the you know of my family. I probably have the best Negotiation of computers and stuff like that.

And I can do general stuff, but when it comes [01:20:00] to, editing videos, or some of the other stuff that tech that you use for, different things, it's just not my strong suit.

Nikki: Yeah, I work with people at all different levels of their technology. Platforming. So, if you think of a platform game, you have to start off at level 1 and the next person goes to 2. I only think I'm a 5 out of 10. Like, I can figure out things, sure. But like, I'm not coding anything. Right.

That's a whole nother language to me. I don't, I can't speak other languages. It doesn't work out for me. But, my skill set is that I can go into a program that I've never used before. And kind of already know my way around because the controls are usually similar, right? If we're in a game, W, A, S, D usually works to move the character around and clicking left or right makes it attack [01:21:00] in some sort, right?

So, like, comfortably go into a game and at least get started. Things are going to probably go sideways for me a couple of times, but I'll get it. You know, I get the point and we'll keep on going software is kind of the same thing for me, putting something somewhere usually is in the button that says download or upload here or whatever that says, and I can usually figure out my way around.

And that is a good thing for me. It has helped me get to where I am. and if somebody asks me to do something, sometimes I have to do it myself on my end. So, I'm just now getting set up on a disease and I have. I made my own website. I switched it from where it was on WordPress to A to Z and, I remade it.

I think it looks pretty cool now. And so now I have a contact us button. I have where you can schedule a meeting with me [01:22:00] for 30 minutes right on that. And. It's great. Like, I made the website and now, I have a guy that I've been working with who also put his stuff on A to Z right after I did because he was like, Oh, if you think it's great that I'm doing it works for me but now I'm working on a website for him to be able to switch his from where it thought on what WordPress to A to Z.

Rhoda: Yeah, I'd love if you send me the link 'cause I'd like to, I'd like to see what you did because I'm also on A to ZI haven't really put up my website there yet, but,

Nikki: pardon me. It's nikki's office.com. All my social medias or Nikki's office. YouTube is at Nikki's office.

I made it easy for people to find me everywhere Yeah I followed that piece of advice and you can literally find me as nikki's office anywhere My business page is [01:23:00] official nikki's office because it's you know, the office itself. That's the business page

 So if especially if i've done it for myself if i've gone through the pains of doing it myself, I 100 percent am I know what's happening.

You know what I mean? Like I can trust that I know I've run through some of these Working for somebody on somebody else's web page because they want a different element or whatever I might run into a different snag, but I can probably you know Ninja my way through it by going. Okay What are you doing?

And I talked to it. Believe me. I had somebody on the phone with me yesterday And I went no, what are you doing? Why are you there? And she's like, excuse me? I'm like, I'm so sorry. I'm talking to my screen. It's fine.

I do think that people have to regularly, like, every 6 months to a year, double check their software, [01:24:00] make sure it's still working for them, and, make sure the cost of everything has stayed within your budget, because, sometimes places up the price without actually saying anything. So just double check at where you're supposed to be at with your budget, usually before taxes.

Do you have any questions?

Rhoda: I can't think.

 I am so not it or tech junkie that I don't know if I know brilliant questions to ask you. But I am super grateful. I'm super grateful for people that do. I think that for me I've had to look at, so I'm 63 years old and by now I know my lane. And so for me, it's like, these are the areas that I am good at.

And these are the areas that I'm like, okay with, and this is the area where no [01:25:00] don't call a professional. I'm like in that space of call a professional, which, Nikki, I view you as one of those professionals out there that if I were to need something that I could call you and say, Hey, I need this.

Is there a way that I can get it and learn to use it? I will use software if I. Need if I need it. And it's something really simple to use. And so sometime, I know you have video editing software and, because I do videos where you can break it down in small sections. Clips or videos, so I wouldn't mind hearing a little more about that.

Dokie. It was a joy.

Hmm. Yeah. Talk to you soon. It was a joy to be to with you today, Nikki.

Nikki: Thank you. Reach out on, the things. If you look in your emails for my [01:26:00] emails. You'll find my phone number. You can give me a call if you need me. Okay. Okay. Okay. Have a good day. You too.