Navigating Mental Health During the Holidays

In this heartfelt solo episode, Nikki dives into the complex emotions that often surface during the holiday season. From embracing hyper-festive traditions to coping with challenging family dynamics or navigating the first holiday post-trauma, this episode offers understanding and encouragement. Whether you love the season or find it overwhelming, Nikki shares her personal journey and actionable insights on how to honor your feelings, set boundaries, and find a meaningful "why" to keep moving forward. Tune in for compassionate advice and a reminder that it’s okay to make the holidays your own.

Hi Everyone! Today it’s just me, no guest and we will probably be a little shorter than normal.

I thought this would be a good time to talk about mental health and the holidays. There are three ways to go about the holidays, usually.  Hyper focused, focused on family traditions, and first holiday post trauma and those whose mental health makes the holidays harder for them.

First let’s talk about what I mean when I say Hyper Focused on the Holidays. These are the people who LOVE with capital letters, the holidays. They do everything in a big way. They have all the decorations, host and go to all the parties, make all the cookies. They are the people who you think of when you picture a Halmark Christmas Movie.

Next are those who are focused on family traditions. Christmas may or may not be their favorite holiday, but they enjoy and take part in their family traditions.

Our last group, those who this is the first Christmas after a trauma, or their mental health makes this time of year HARD, are who I want to focus on today. Christmas is a very hard time of the year to get through because everybody is talking about how great family is and maybe you don't have a great family.

Maybe your parents have hurt you. Maybe your siblings have hurt you. Maybe both. Maybe you're not where you thought you would be. Maybe your depression is kicking your tail today. No matter how you feel about the holidays, good or bad, those feelings are valid. It’s how we act on those feelings that is important.

                Part of what makes this time of year so hard for those of us in this last group are the well-meaning friends and family who both love us and the holidays. They want to know why we don’t want to decorate, or go to parties, or bake cookies. They love this stuff, it’s tradition. They simply do not understand why we aren’t on the same page as them because they love us and see these as bonding moments, and we don’t.

I'm not the one to say who loves you and who doesn't. What I can say is, no matter how hard the holidays are, you are allowed to be whoever you are. If that means that the holidays are hard for you, then adjust your plans so that you are okay.

You don't have to go to all the parties and talk to all the people and be masking the whole time. You're allowed to say no to some events. You simply not wanting to go is valid enough reason not to. You don’t need an excuse or reason. Maybe say yes to others, depending on how you are.

Me? I tend to say no to a lot of Christmas events. I struggle very much during the holiday season because my parents were not the people they should have been, and I haven't had the best life. It’s only been the last 6 years where I am finally in a healthy situation. Where I can deal with my depression and all the other things that come with it.

I hope everybody who watches my podcast that you find a partner, a friend, a favorite person, whatever that is for you, I hope that you find them. I hope that during the holidays, no matter how hard it is, you realize that you need to be here. Life is not done yet. It is not time to take yourself out of the equation. You still need to be here, and it might be hard.

                Find a why. There are a lot of why’s in life. Why am I alive today? Even if it’s a little reason, even if it’s a half-hearted reason, start there and build on of that. Everyone’s why is different, find one that has meaning for you. My why’s are that I don’t want to transfer my pain to someone else, and I want to be able to help the next person and I can’t do that if I’m not here. And that means that I do hard things like coming on here by myself to make sure that people know that it is okay to be depressed during the holidays.

All this to say, if you are depressed, please take the time to deal with it the way you need to. If you are happy, be happy. Don’t try to force someone who is not as happy as you to be happier, and don’t expect someone who is happy about the holidays to be upset just because you are. Neither ends up working in our favor.

I want all of you to know that I hope everyone has the best holiday they can.