You Don’t Have to Be Perfect to Be Powerful: The Truth About Empowerment

Lori Stein joins Nikki for a powerful conversation about emotional energy, feminine power, and breaking free from the rules that hold us back. As the founder of the Goodbye Good Girl Project, Lori helps women reclaim their voice, rewrite disempowering narratives, and build lives rooted in authenticity—not exhaustion. Together, they talk about mental health, storytelling as a breakthrough tool, and the subtle shift that changed Lori’s life after 38 years of depression.

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[00:00:00] Hi, Lori Stein. I am the founder of a company called the Goodbye Good Girl Project, which is just like, it sounds like it's a little bit of rebellion, and it is, it's about seeing things the way they seem to be, but seeing them as they really are.

That is to say, we have a masculine only. Business paradigm. We're told that anything feminine is not okay. That it's not so good to be emotional. It's not so good to be, intuitive. It's not so good to be connective, that we wanna be more about the bottom line and not so much about people. And all of that is like a bird with one wing.

And anything with one wing is just gonna go around in circles. And we're seeing that in our world. We're seeing the entropy, the sort of winding down of when you don't have any balance and and you've lost your heart. And I don't mean that in a sort of pink and [00:01:00] perfect way. What I mean is you have to have that balance of feminine and masculine.

And so now is the time for women to reclaim and maybe even claim for the first time our feminine abilities, our incredible savvy with emotion. Our incredible ability of empathy and then bring in as well the non-toxic masculine. So bringing in boundaries, boundaries is a masculine sort of concept, and that's lovely.

But again, with balance, if we wanna do having a goal, we also wanna allow, we want to not push ourselves so hard because it doesn't really work for us. We are, we're in a whole paradigm, a whole social paradigm that was created for the masculine only. Even the men are struggling with it, but we have never had a seat at the table.

So we're creating our own. And that's what, that's the nature of my work. I help women see [00:02:00] it all differently and do it with their feminine strengths and from a whole new perspective. Very cool stuff. Okay, so how did you get started doing that? Well, if I looked at it historically, because I'm clearly over 35 I would have to look back at when I was 16 and I became a feminist and drove my father insane.

He's very traditional Jewish man who, who's, who would say to me, you have to respect me just because I'm your father. And I would say, no, you have to earn my respect. And it was like this. But I did start to see very early on that there were two sets of rules. And I didn't like it. I didn't like it, but it does didn't mean that I didn't follow those rules.

I think we are very socialized to do and it really behooves us to do so if we wanna survive if we want to make sure that we're doing things in a way that helps us learn how to [00:03:00] navigate this world, I. But as I kept going on, I kept getting into different aspects of career choices of what I would study in school that kept revealing, wait a minute, there's something that's not right here, and there are other ways to do it.

So for instance, I got into, in graduate school, I went into something called sociolinguistics, which is the study of how language shapes our lives and how our lives shape our languaging. And the most famous way of looking at this is if you go to Alaska, I think there's something like 20 or 30 words for snow because they have so many different kinds of snow, and it's based on survival, right?

For us, we have so many ways of saying things that disempower ourselves. We have ways of speaking that disempower ourselves. We have [00:04:00] a communal language, if you will, that puts women down and we're supposed to laugh at it to get along. And so we're constantly putting ourselves down. As I looked at that in sociolinguistics, I said, wait a minute now, let me take a closer look.

And what I found was that there was, and this was in the 1980s, there was at that time a theory that there was a language of disempowerment in that it was distinctly feminine that women spoke a disempowered language just by dent of being women. And I went, that doesn't pass the smell test. So I started doing all this research and I ended up finding an incredible study that was done.

This is so much fun to me, where they took. One, one woman who was a VP and put her in a room with 10 other VPs who were all men. [00:05:00] And she exhibited, sure enough, different ways of speaking that were very disempowered. One of them was instead of saying a sentence, like a statement, saying it like a question, instead of, I think we should cut this by 10%, she would say, I think I should cut this by 10%.

That's very disempowering. It says to you, and it says to the others, I don't know that I know what I'm talking about. That's a terrible way to be as a VP or as a woman as, forget it. It's just not the way to, to make yourself be powerful in your life and you have to be powerful in your life and you should.

So that was one of the things. The other thing was something that I call a prophylactic approach to making a statement. And it is I don't know if this is the right time to say it and you probably won't agree with me, and I could see how somebody might think this was wrong, but, [00:06:00] and then you say what it is you wanna say.

It takes in certain power over perceived situations, a lot of courage to just say what it is you think you what you think. So they then went back to the same situation. They took one man who was a VP and they surrounded him with 10 women who were VPs and he exhibited the same linguistic tendencies ta.

So it's not a language of feminine, it's a language of disempowerment, of perceived disempowerment. So that was long ago in the eighties, and I've been on this path ever since of how can I. As a woman, as a professional, as a fellow human being on this planet have be and do what it is I want. How can I live a life where I don't put myself down?

How can I live a life where I can speak up for myself [00:07:00] and hold myself to the standard of, I deserve as much respect as anybody else on the planet. I don't care who you are. I don't care whether you are the God of the universe in some country somewhere. I don't care. I am. I have to grant myself and I expect that you grant me that respect.

And that's breaking a lot of rules. That's why it's the goodbye Good girl project that breaks a lot of rules inside your own head, inside your own emotional body. Just the thought of it can make people break out in a sweat. And I get that. So I'm ve I'm really good at being able to understand how my clients are feeling and how to help them start to take one step across that bridge in a way that doesn't make them break out into a sweat and run away and hide, because we have to do this by small steps, but the small steps are the big steps.

So that's another [00:08:00] part of the magic that is what I do. And I can tell you about that in a little while. That's more about the wellness aspect. Okay. What is your first step with a new client? Like, how do you go about starting getting them to the end goal? The first thing that I do is I have a conversation with them and.

It's very important that I be able to see them. Now, that doesn't mean that somebody has to necessarily be in the room with me. It can be on Zoom. But what's important is that I need to be able to gauge their energy. I need to be able to see and feel, 'cause I'm very empathic about people's emotions, only because I know my own so well.

And that makes it very easy to read other people's. So I need to be able to see their brilliance because I also see that first as well. I see where they [00:09:00] shine energetically and I see where they're holding back. And I need to understand if what I'm seeing is accurate and in what, which way is it accurate?

So I need to hear them talk about what they feel is holding them back, what they feel about themselves. Where is the open door that we can start? Because, if you go to get assistance from somebody you are not gonna go, hi, I'm here and I'm open. You're gonna test the waters. You're gonna be like, I have to find out if I'm safe here. I have to see what it is that might be best for me to start with. And she's the expert, but I'm the expert on me. And so there's a little bit of a dance and I make sure that the other person understands that I'm here to go through their open door.

I'm not here to pry them open. Mm-hmm. Right. Yeah. I've had that problem with therapists in the past because I'll go to my appointment and they're like, [00:10:00] it's like the first or second appointment. And I offhandedly say something probably that I didn't mean to, because that's a habit. And they go, wait, you didn't tell me that the last time you were, here you go.

First of all, my damage started pretty much at birth. Excuse me for missing one or two things in the long list of things I told you, but second of all, I didn't even give you the full list. My full list is like a whole book long. We ain't, I ain't doing that. You're gonna get it in pieces over the next however long we're talking.

And if you're just offended on this visit, this probably the last one. Exactly. But I do wanna say, just to be clear, I'm not a therapist. I've had my fair share of therapy and I do come to people from a sensibility of that is reminiscent of therapy, but I cannot claim any of that training. I am, I'm not that, I'm really much more about [00:11:00] emotional energy and being able to stand on the other side of the table from me.

But still holding what I know works and be able to help that person walk into her strengths, claim them, know them, and then feel, experience, what it's like to be the woman that she probably thought she couldn't even be. She probably thought that'll take like another 20 years of therapy, or that'll take another 30 years of meditation or whatever.

We, we tend to think, and I, it's not our fault, it's not that we're stupid. We've been taught that we have very little power in increasing our strength and in walking into being our strong self. And what I've learned is that's not true. As an actor, I found early on in my thirties [00:12:00] that was hugely helpful to breaking me out really quickly from my.

A sense of, oh no, I'm not allowed, or I should hold back, or people won't like me. It became a beautifully safe space for me to say, let me try being like this. And then I could add the pieces that I had to discovered into my real life. And suddenly I was having a lot more fun. I was able to explore more.

I didn't feel like I had to be a perfectionist all the time. I could make big mistakes but not die. There's still that afterburn when you make mistakes, right? There's still that what did I just do? But over time I learned that the mistake was actually a huge gift. That took a long time for me to get that.

But business people really need to understand this. I just finished up taking a course [00:13:00] in branding and we were working on sales last night. It was our final class and we were working on selling to each other. And there was something I did that was not as good as it could have been.

Apparently. I was speaking too quickly and the the coach said, if you'll just say one sentence and then shut up and then look at the person and see if they have something that they wanna say. And I said, oh my God, I wish that people knew how great it is to hear what you've done wrong, because the next time you won't do it wrong.

Our training is Women to Be Perfect to somehow measure up. Which no longer makes sense to me, but measure up to the masculine rules, which really isn't measuring up. That stops us from truly growing and truly creating businesses and careers in our own image. And we go off on [00:14:00] tangents where we can end up with a career or a business that really is costly.

And I'm not talking money, I'm talking, you can end up with a business where you do really well, but you're miserable. You're 55 and you're like, I've had a horrible time. And I also, to be worse I don't even know what I wanna do with my retirement. I don't know who I am. We need to find out who we are.

Yeah. Yeah. So there's a whole host of rules that, when. Clients come to me or when I give a talk or do a workshop, it really is all through that perspective of how can we challenge this sing seemingly set paradigm to say, I'm actually a free agent. I actually do have free will. And because I am so empathic, because I am such an emotionally tuned in human, [00:15:00] I have the ability to to work with that in a host of ways that allow me to communicate better, to be more strategic, not manipulative, but strategic connective.

And actually, if we go into the energetic aspect, meaning the more spiritual aspect, even being able to switch our mental emotional states, which is what I did in 2022. After 38 years of clinical depression, but why? To be able to do that's insane. That's something that nobody tells you can do.

So we have a lot of power, we just don't know it. And then when we do know it, which is the first big step, then how do we use it? Yeah. So for a business person yeah. Do you only work with women [00:16:00] or do you work with, if men come to me, I am more than happy to work with them. But my niche is women. Yeah. Okay. That wasn't a hahaha talking to women thing, it was just a, wait a minute, let me make sure how to ask the question, but yeah.

Yeah. But what is one breakthrough that you've seen in most people that you've worked with? To the number, the first thing you get them through to get them to go, oh yeah, then I obviously need to keep talking to this person, you mean to get them to talk to me, you mean?

No, like after they're already talking to you, what is that first breakthrough you have with them that helps you to okay, now we're on the right path, let's, get you moving more, do doing more. So there are different reasons of course that women come to me. One woman came to me because she'd been in a male dominated industry for 30 years and she was frustrated.

She was at the top of the food chain and she was still [00:17:00] frustrated. Because the men around her, also at the top of the food chain weren't listening. And she didn't know, she didn't know whether to leave her career and move on or whether to stay and try to make a difference. And she also didn't know what she would move on to.

So that's a very common thing for us women. Like I said, if we're one of the hardest questions you can ask a woman is, what do you really want? Because we're socialized to think of others first and foremost. And if we become parents, we can also become so swept away by, the caring for children, which is, that's a good thing we need to carry for chil care for children.

But we can become so carried away that we just, we're not even in the room. And then a big change happens and we're lost. We're just. Absolutely bum fued we're like I had no idea what I want, where to go, what to do. [00:18:00] And it's a whole cultural problem I think for both women and men. But because women are one down on every scale power in a power sense, in a money sense in a spiritual sense, all these different senses, the ways that these systems have been set up and that we've psychologically and emotionally taken them in we really struggle a lot.

We struggle a lot more, I think, than men do generally. And since I'm a woman, and I know this one firsthand, boom, I can definitely relate. But the breakthrough for a lot of women is when I get them on their feet and we have created a. A talk. This is a really powerful tool that I use, is creating a talk.

Now, they may or not be a public speaker. That's not really the point, but we create a story that is from their own history and they are encouraged to [00:19:00] tell it with their language. In other words, their emotional language. Not to be fancy, not to get into what I call marketing speak, which is like the proper way to do a talk or the proper way to market yourself.

No. Tell me a story, right about sub 'cause these are professional women. Tell me a story about a time that you faced a challenge in your life and you found that either you made your way through it or you didn't make your way through it, but you learned something incredibly valuable from it. And so we work with it, we craft it, and then I get them up on their feet.

And what I can tell is anytime. A woman hits a place where she feels disempowered, awkward weakened by what she's saying, and I will stop her and I will say, okay, hold on. Pause for just a second. I felt like you were feeling weakened when you [00:20:00] said, and I'll give her the phrase, whatever she was saying, and I'll say, how did that actually feel to you?

Did that feel, did you feel strong or did you feel something else? Did you feel anything in your body? Did you hear a thought in your head? And nine times out of 10, 99 times out of a hundred, they'll say, yeah, it didn't, just didn't feel right. I'd be like, okay. So is there another way to say it that feels like it's in alignment with you?

Like something maybe more on point or maybe something that's a little bit more you or something that's, maybe we have to start that whole phrase, that whole sentence over. And what happens is we end up with an entire speech where she can, she has now stood up in front of another human and claimed her power, lived her power, breathed her power, spoken her power, and been in her strength.

And she can prove she has proven to herself that she hasn't been any of those, any of those things [00:21:00] that we've been told to judge ourselves as being pushy, obnoxious, aggressive. She hasn't been any of those things, and that's a breakthrough on many levels.

So that's basically the first step in the first breakthrough. Then we can start to, now that she has the experience of seeing, wow, there's a whole host of rules. That don't seem to apply, now we can start saying, how would we like to use this breakthrough? And what's our first mission? Is it to be something?

Is it to see a thing, to see a possibility, or to plan a breakthrough or a breakout? 'cause I tend to think of it as like a jailing, we get stuck in these cells and we don't even know the bars [00:22:00] are there. Or if we do know some of the bars are there, we're like, they can't be bent and that's not true.

Yeah. Okay. So you also said I know that you said you're not a therapist, but part of what we've talked about, I think in a meeting when we first met each other was that. You also help with the mental health side of things for some people or the mental wellbeing. So how does that part look for you?

Yeah, thanks for asking that because yeah, that's a big, it's been a big deal in my life, in my discovery in 2022 when I, after suffering, I had three nervous breakdowns over the course of my life. And I'd had so much clinical depression and anxiety, and it had really slowed down all of the things that I wanted to be, all the things that I wanted [00:23:00] to do.

I became a professional actor, but I didn't become Julia Roberts. I didn't make a bunch of money from it. You know what I mean? And and I adore it. I adore acting because it allows me to be completely free to express. And I'll tell you, once you get. Over through that one veil of fear around that.

And you feel the exhilaration of being able to express yourself. It is an addiction. It is. You suddenly go, let me have more of that. Let me show up some more. So what I teach people is something that I came up with called the 1% Solution. And I do not generally put myself out there to say, I can help you with your depression.

That is a very therapy thing to do, right? But I can tell you that if you have, if you are struggling with a certain kind of mindset, like a worry [00:24:00] mindset. Or a mindset of hopelessness where you say, there's not a thing that I've been able to figure out to do and I'm just like out of answers.

And yet I do believe in a lot of spiritual things that I've come across, which say I can switch this, I can change the way I live. I am able to help women do the 1% solution. And I'll tell you what that is. It's a set of things that we have to understand about the energetic side of life, the emotional side of life, the spiritual side of life.

What actually are the building blocks of this thing we call reality? So this is out there, right? This is not your sort of traditional business thing, but because we women, because we humans, women and men. We are our businesses. If we are [00:25:00] having a problem, our businesses are gonna have a problem.

It's just the way, it's So if we can't get our mindset, if we can't get our emotions into a flow, we're gonna do what I've done in the past, which is sit down for three days and do nothing. It's, and then we get into that whole thing where we beat the heck out of ourselves. Oh my God, I'm not doing it and I must be horrible and I must be stupid.

And like none of any of that stuff is true. All that's happening is we have a pattern that we've practiced and it is a negative pattern, and it is a pattern of denser, deeper energies. And the 1% solution is bringing in a 1% higher emotional energy. Just 1% or even 0.001% if you can't get to 1%. Like sometimes you just feel like there is no better thought.

But [00:26:00] I can help with that. And this came out of my work, my listening for on and off for years to channeled beings and different kinds of spiritual out of the norm sorts of things, because I had personal experiences that showed me there's more to life than just what we can see, hear, smell, touch, and taste.

And so I was looking for answers, always looking for answers. And I found them. I found, I was walking along like this, like, where are the answers? Where are the answers? And I finally found energy. You know how some people are just miserable humans, but they seem to have all the toys and all the goodies and the people who were like fabulous humans.

They got nothing, right? Like, why is that? And I wasn't satisfied with the answer of God's will, or it's just the way it is. Oh, it's the luck of the draw. I just, I couldn't find an answer that made sense to me. [00:27:00] And then I stumbled across the answer of, oh my gosh, it's, are you an open energetic pipeline?

Are your beliefs out of the way? Are your thoughts out of the way? Are your ideas and your self-image, is everything aligned with good? Or do you have like rocks in your path? And people who don't have any morals, don't have a lot of rocks in their path, and they can let in a ton of money. Now, I don't wanna become somebody who doesn't have morals and I couldn't do it if I even wanna do, which I don't.

So then what's the answer? The answer it turns out is to understand that there's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with me. We've practiced certain energetic alignments and we don't have to push 'em out. We just have to bring in the light. So it's just like [00:28:00] making a cake. Let's say you make a cake and you make it without sugar.

You forgot to put in the sugar. You've got it in the bowl, and you taste it and you're like, this is horrible. I'm not putting this in the oven. This is terrible. I'm not doing this. And then somebody goes, you might have left out the sugar. Now the amount of sugar in comparison to all the other ingredients is not more than the rest of the ingredients, but it makes that cake.

Then you wanna make that cake and you wanna eat that cake. It's that not eating sugar free cake. That's a say again. I'm not eating sugar free cake. That's a whole thing that I know. Look, you can do sugar free everything that you want to, you do it yourself because I'm not torturing myself that way.

First of all, I don't need to live till I'm 110. I don't need to cut out sugar at this point in my life. We're gonna have a sugar, we're gonna have a full sugar cake 'cause it's [00:29:00] gonna be real sugar or not. Some of them weird, alternate solutions. Nope. We're gonna have sugar. It's gonna be sugar. I know.

I have a diabetic friend who says the same thing. She's a baker and she goes, Nope. It's gotta be real sugar. I'm like, okay, go for it. I agree. And it's the same for us women in our lives. We don't feel like we're allowed the sugar, we feel that we're supposed to whip ourselves forward. Be very hard on ourselves.

Let me rip out the things that I'm not doing right and let me be that tough teacher to myself. And you need to work harder and you need to try harder. And it's this whole toxic masculine, not the sacred masculine, but it's the toxic masculine of let me push too hard and let me be really mean [00:30:00] as if somehow that will inspire me.

It will not inspire me. It just, it does not, it makes me feel traumatized and that I wanna hide under my bed. So that certainly doesn't move me forward. And if you notice, if you look out into the world of social media, you will find that almost a hundred percent of the people who are considered the gurus.

Of marketing or of anything that's out there to teach entrepreneurs how to do their thing. The ones who are making the six figures and beyond are men. And when I remember for years, 'cause I've been on this path for this, the entrepreneurial path, trying to make it work. I started at this 25 years ago and I went and I did the thing that you're supposed to do because we were taught to go to school, be taught by somebody smarter than us, follow the rules and then we'd win.

Right? That's the [00:31:00] paradigm, that's the pattern. Problem is outside of school. It doesn't work. It doesn't work. Especially, it doesn't work for women because we're sitting there waiting to be rewarded for being nice, for being good at our jobs, for being appropriate. And that never happens. We don't get that reward.

So we're left going, what's the problem? The problem is the feminine is missing. All of these young men, they don't talk about what the feminine was in their success, and the feminine was they had a wife, or they had a mother, or they had friends that they started their business with. They didn't have to create something out of whole cloth.

They didn't have to fight an entire system to try to find their voice, to try to find their focus. There was something, there were things there that supported them, that gave them the feminine nurturing, where they could [00:32:00] birth their accustomed masculine power. We don't have a custom masculine power.

We have imitated masculine behaviors, and as business women, we need to create a new paradigm. And there are people doing it. I don't know if you've heard of B Corps. Have you heard of those? This is, no, it's sounds like a B movie. No, I don't really wanna be in that core. Okay. I'm not falling in love with a b, not in my plan course.

I don't even like the little suckers, but, no, it's a, there's, there's s corporations and there's LLCs and all that stuff. A B corporation B corporations, you have to go through a lot of hoops to be recognized as a B corporation because you're based on what makes you, how do I put this?

Your business is based more on how you are of service to the world community. [00:33:00] And you put people first, and you put the planet first. And it's a very different way of doing business. Okay. So that's been around, and I would've looked it up if I'd known, I was gonna mention it, I don't know how many years, but it's historically pretty recent.

It's not like yesterday, and it's not 10 years ago. It's more than 10 years ago, but I don't know how long. So there are people doing that. There are, there's a wonderful man that sadly passed away in, I think 95 named Ray Anderson, Ray c Anderson. And he was an amazing guy who became the father of sustainability in business after having been in business for decades in, I believe it was Arkansas.

He had been, and he described himself after his awakening as a robber baron. That's what he called himself. He said I was a robber baron. He polluted. And he didn't care. He just didn't care. He just wanted [00:34:00] his billions. And then one day. Somebody sent him a book, a very famous book in sustainability called The Ecology of Business, and he picked it up and he got to page 20.

And the thing that it impacted him was that he realized he was hurting animals and that cut him to the quick and he woke up and within, I think it was 20 years. They had c they had reduced their, the amount of water they used in their whole process by 60 or 70%. They had created brand new types of equipment that they could use that took out the use of so much energy and would recycle so much of their products that were used to create what they did, which was carpet, little carpet tiles and things for offices.

What [00:35:00] he did by doing things right was that he doubled his billions, he doubled his bottom line. So this idea that we have to do everything by the masculine only is killing us in every way. And I feel so strongly that we women. Or the answer, but we do have to learn what the feminine really is because we've been, it's been removed from us.

I know when I first asked myself a number of years ago, I said, okay, Lori, okay, so I know you're a feminist and I know you care about women and I know you wanna help women be fantastically empowered when they're speaking in public or when they're speaking in a boardroom or they're speaking to another human when they're speaking to themselves.

But what does it mean? What does feminine mean? And [00:36:00] I'll tell you what, the only thing I could think of was the old sort of 1940s thing of lins wearing lins. These puffy things they would wear under their dresses. That, and the color pink. I'm like, okay, if that's feminine, I'm in trouble.

For real Hate pink. I ain't wearing no puffy skirt. So sorry. I would like the puffy skirt. I have to say. I think they're cool, but I'm not I'm more along the sort of fiery line with a warm underpinning of orange. You know what I mean? I have this very mothering aspect to me, but I'm also not going to give you what the Buddhists call idiot compassion, which is I'll make you feel better even if it hurts you in the long run.

No. I'm gonna make you feel bad in the moment. So you can do better in the future. I will say it. I am, I get this all the time because people are like, you're so blunt. Okay. And this is not the, oh, yeah. Orange hair doesn't look good on you. I'm [00:37:00] not making comments like that. That's not in my wheelhouse.

I don't care about your hair. If I mention, I might go, oh yeah, I like your tap. I'm whatever, but I'm not, whatever. When I say something, it's more, somebody goes, do I click on this link now or later? And I'm going, I don't know which way George can click it. Just do it. You're giving, I don't or if you come to me with a stupid question, you're probably gonna know that I think it's a stupid question before it's done.

Unless my patience is on point today and I can guarantee you my point, my, my I don't have that kind of patience. My patience is not usually on point A, but I've been, I'm I am the tech person for a lot of people. I am the one they come to with any of their tech problems. And most of the time that's not a problem.

Whatever. I do, [00:38:00] however, sometimes get stupid questions and everybody's there's no stupid question. Look, I had my sister at one point ask me why the sky was blue. They're guaranteeing you, there are stupid questions and you're gonna know it because I'm gonna roll my eyes. I'm okay to copy and paste

for the fifth time. I am, I don't do the, oh, hi. How are you? Are you doing great? That's great. So you just sent me an email that says that you're an idiot and you are an idiot, but why did you send that in an email? I'm not doing the, Hey, how are you part? I'm just going, Hey, you send me an email, and then the person I'm talking to is usually yes, we usually say hi to each other first.

Why? Why do I have to do that? I. No. It depends. It depends if you want to create a bridge to communicate with the other person, if that's what they need. But communication, which is like my favorite thing to talk about in, in many [00:39:00] ways is the art form. Nobody is teaching, right? We're sent out there into the world and told good luck.

Good luck making yourself understood and understanding other people. But but yeah, for me, I'm just blunt. I don't especially 'cause look, I used to have to call accounting a hundred times a day, right? I'm not saying, Hey, how are you? How's it going every single time. It got to the point and me and the person got along real well.

So if I called, I was like, look, this person's being an idiot again. But I know what to tell him, but he's telling me I have to ask you first. So can you, now that you know. Give me permission to go tell him he's an idiot. And he would be like, I don't think you should say it like that, but yes, you have my permission.

I'm with her. But yes. Yeah, because you built an intimacy, of course you got to know each other. But but I tend to do that because it's not, because I don't care how your day is going or how you are doing. It's, I have a one track mind and on [00:40:00] my mind it's, this is the thing that I'm coming you to talk about, answer this.

And then if you wanna chit chat afterwards, we can chit chat afterwards. But first we need to answer this question. This has to be answered. So I am that person, but also people know that they can come to me and I don't have a problem teaching them how to do whatever. So they just have to balance that with the really again, okay.

So it's such a systemic thing that we are taught to believe all of us women and men, that we don't have power. There's an intrinsic powerlessness that we're what's the word I'm looking for? We're slaves to our lives. That there's this set of rules, that there's this reality that was set in place before we [00:41:00] showed up through the birth canal.

And that the best we can do is learn how to deal with it or manipulate it or work around it. And we're now entering a very different time historically, where we are understanding a whole different set of realities. Spiritually and we're understanding, and we have been for some time actually, it's just that it's becoming louder and louder in mainstream media.

You'll find a lot of it on YouTube. Which is that whatever it is you wanna do, be or have, you can. Now, how do you do that? That's the second question. The first question is, can you even believe? Does it even make sense? What do you mean? I can have, do or be whatever I want. I beg to differ. Where's my million bucks?

Like, where's my freaking money if I can have fear, do whatever [00:42:00] I want? And so that gets into a deeper kind of situation. I do talks about that every second week of the month at a place called Revelation Spiritual Church, which is a non-denominational church. I was born Jewish and I am, I now consider myself a social Jew and a spiritual nut.

And and so I get to bring all of that forward and talk about these things because there really is nothing that there, let me explain this. There's nothing about this reality, this, there's nothing about this. This didn't create itself this lipstick. It was created by something. And you go yeah, it was created by a machine dummy.

That's not what I mean. Our lives and everything in it are created out of energy. And that's, it's that's [00:43:00] the source code, if you will, is energy. So the question to me, this begs the question, how do I get to the source energy? Somebody clue me in here because I'd like to, I'd like to have that million dollars and I, and currently I can't seem to go behind the scenes and make that happen.

How do you do that? So I've been studying that as well. It, when it comes to the work I do and how the feminine needs to be incorporated into absolutely every way we look at our lives, it depends on what the person needs as to what I'll bring forward for them. If it is the woman who is saying, I don't even know what I wanna do.

I need to figure out who I am, I will follow her path. I don't mean that I won't hold her to certain guide rails. I'm still the expert at what I do, but I don't believe in giving someone an [00:44:00] answer that's. That doesn't come from them. We each have got to unfold, and especially us women, we have had absolutely no training about all of the things that we need in order to re, to heal from trauma, to give ourselves kindness.

Just simple kindness is a big honk and deal. We don't even think in those terms. And we need to start letting that the toxic masculine mask that we've taken on begin to soften, begin to thaw a little bit and start to see things differently. Yeah, we really do.

It will change us. It'll change the world. It has changed me. I'm a very different person than I was in July of 2022. Because in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of having my third nervous breakdown, [00:45:00] and it was a perfect storm. I was about to lose my job because in their infinite lack of wisdom, they thought that if they reduced my pay, this would inspire me to do better.

What? And instead I had would inspire me to do it. Oh, lot less. Oh, good luck on that one. And I just was losing it. And in the middle of the night, I'd already been to the emergency room twice and they'd adjusted my medication and all of these things. Because remember, I'd been going through this daily clinical depression for over 38 years and they'd already done all they could. They said, if you come back, all we could do is lock you up. And I was like, this is not happening to me. This is not what I'm doing. But I [00:46:00] felt myself going down for the third time, and I had been listening to YouTube videos of Abraham Hicks. I don't know if you know who that is or if your audience knows, but it's a channeled collection of beings and they always talk about how you can have, be or do whatever you want, and that how you feel is much more important and way more impactful than the physical actions that we can do, which intrigued me, like really, because I'm exhausted from trying so hard physically, like I'm working myself to death.

I can't keep going. What? What do I gotta do? So I was listening to these and I said, oh my God I've heard them say a few things in the past. They've never said how to do what they're talking about, but I'm gonna pick up my journal and I'm gonna start trying it. So I started bringing in slightly better feeling thoughts, and, stuff that had [00:47:00] nothing to do with I feel fabulous 'cause I didn't feel fabulous.

But it had to do with stuff that was honest and real. It's I am an incredibly strong person, or I would've gone down way before this. And then tuning in to how did that feel? It gave me just a tiny bit of strength. Tiny. And then I heard something on the video that said something about.

Really massaging the good feeling that you might get. So I thought even if it's that small, I'm gonna really, I'm gonna start write down. Wow. The fact that I can feel anything different than misery at this moment is pretty big. I like the way that feels. I feel that in my shoulders. And suddenly it started to increase a little bit.

After 10 minutes, 10 minutes, I was no longer in danger. I was still depressed out of my mind, but I was not going [00:48:00] down for the third time. So this is what I teach for people who are stuck in mental patterns that they say to themselves, it's impossible. I can't change. Yes, we can. Oh yeah, we can.

There's so much that proves it. I have done three days stays. My smart mouth almost landed me in the county mental health place at one point. But that was because the person they have. Okay. So in Tennessee they have people who, if you're that far gone, will come evaluate you to see how bad you are.

Okay. And the three day stay place was full. So they couldn't place me that day. They were gonna be able to place me the next day, but they couldn't that night. And she was like if I send you home, is there any way that you think you could commit suicide? And I went, have a kitchen. Oh God, [00:49:00] you did not child.

No, I told you my smart mouth got me in trouble. And so That's amazing. I got put in the back of the cop car and he drove 120 down the highway. To the mental place. And we get there and I am like, I'm not fricking staying here. Oh no, not doing this. This is not for me. And I had to go in and meet with this guy before that he would allow me to be admitted.

And he goes, do you belong here? And I went no. And then he is looking over the paperwork and he's going, you're gritting that smart comment, aren't you? And I'm like, yeah.

He's I don't think you belong here either. I'm gonna send you home. Don't do anything stupid tonight and go to the three day state tomorrow. I was like, yeah. But ask a stupid question. Get a stupid answer. But like, why would you say it [00:50:00] like that? Is there any possible way that you think you could, and I only mentioned that I had a kitchen.

So even in my most darkness of times I did have humor. I could be sobbing because I knew that if I breathed the wrong way, I was gonna do something stupid. But somebody would say something, am I smart? Mouth kick in? Sometimes being clever will kick your butt,

but honestly not recommend in in, in that kind of an interview for you to let that intrusive thought come out your mouth. It should be an inside thought. Yeah. Use your, in your inside voice. Yeah. And yeah and let's say getting help is seriously important because Job one is staying alive. Job one is staying alive and I've been there. [00:51:00] Yeah. I didn't always agree with my three day stays. I ended up in one because the therapist that I was going to at the time asked me what I thought of before I went to bed, and I was like, I just hope I'm not gonna wake up. I don't wanna keep doing this.

And so I ended up in a three day stay because that's bad. Apparently, I still roll my eyes at that one because I'm doing fine, but I still sometimes go to bed going, I don't wanna wake up tomorrow. Can we just be done? Yeah. And it's not coming from a place of being depressed or anything, it's just I'm done, but I think you're making my point.

I think you tell me, but I think the point is when we keep doing life from one lens we do get to the end of a road. There's not enough creativity and there's not enough fulfillment. And if, and here we are, women trying to live like men [00:52:00] do. I'm just trying to live. I don't care if it's like a man does or not.

I just, I know that I'm supposed to be here and then you get everybody look. So to be perfectly honest, I categorize myself as actively passively suicidal, which means at any given moment, if an event were to happen, I wouldn't care. But I'm not gonna do it to myself, right? I'm not gonna fight super hard to stay, I guess if I get into a situation.

But my will, my hands are not in it. I'm not actively gonna step out in the middle of the road. But if I'm crossing a parking lot and get ran over, let me go a deal. Where it's past it, like I'm not actually gonna do anything. But those thoughts are always. There I am on medication for those thoughts.

So let's you know, but my point being [00:53:00] that we can go, we can keep going even on the days when we don't want to. As long as we have a reason or a why or however you put it for you. For me, I've always said I have a why I am not my mother. I will not do that to myself. And I don't want anybody to find my body that's disrespectful to them and that takes my trauma and puts it on somebody who didn't deserve it in the first place.

Now by dying my sleep, I'm sorry I didn't do it. It's not my fault. So one of those, but we have the capacity to change our lives in. In 2018, I was a mess. It couldn't work. There's no way I could do this podcast, none of that. 2019, I came out of the brain fog of all of the [00:54:00] things and while I still have mental illness, because I have ones that you don't just get over or you can't talk yourself out of them.

I still keep going because I know what it's like to be in that deep, dark hit. So dark that you don't see the light. You're not seeing that there could be better days because that's a completely foreign concept because you were raised in darkness. You are an adult in darkness. You think at some point that you're always going to be an eye can firmly.

Stand here. Technically sit here and tell you that's not true. You can find the way out, you can find hope, you can find all of those things. Yeah. And yes, like I said, I have mental things, I don't, it's not just depression, it's not just anxiety, [00:55:00] not just PTSD or CPSD. It's there's something, I don't have all the levels I'm supposed to okay.

It's like medical. Yeah. I don't get it. I'm I'm not in the place. I don't care enough to, but the point being, even me with the medical thing going, I can still see, like I am out of that tunnel. Are there days where I'm inside that tunnel at least a little bit because I can still see the light, but it's a dark day for me.

Yes, I have them. Couple weeks ago, I went to my chiropractor's office and they were just kinda oh, you're having a down day, aren't you? Because the energy, because my energy, which is usually oof when I'm out, was just and they could tell, because they've known me for years now, and even my, as soon as my therapist saw me, she was like, what's wrong?

What happened? Because I like, I usually have more of a presence, but [00:56:00] working on yourself is not just something to do to keep yourself on the planet, especially if you have kids. It is something that will help you with every aspect of your life, with your kids, with your job, with your relationships. Sure.

With your friends, with your family. Even if your family is garbage. Like mine, I have one sister, I still talk to one. The best person in my family. I don't talk to none of my cousins. I don't talk to nobody but that one sister. I have a garbage family. I have people who constantly left me out of things.

I have people who constantly push me aside and medical neglect and abuse and all that kind of stuff. Going through my family. My mom was a narcissist. Like I had a crap childhood like this. This no joke. Even somebody with that background where the abuse started before you can remember and [00:57:00] all you've ever known is that you can come out of it.

You really can. You can come to a point where you can live, not just exist. 'cause there's a lot of people out there existing, but Yeah. And not even that much. Not even that. Yeah. Yeah. And so that's why I'm gonna, I'm going to, I don't wanna say that word. I'm going to invite you to go to Google and try to find stories.

I've heard a lot of 'em, stories of people who did the impossible. Way back in the day, I may be the seventies or eighties or something. There was some man who was blind and he got his eyesight back. And I'm not talking surgery, like he started doing eye exercises and this and that, and he'd be, he cleared up his blindness.

We hear about that in, in religious toes, and we're like, that's nice. That must have happened back then, but it doesn't happen now. Yes it does. Yes, it actually does. There's [00:58:00] lots of stuff that happens. There's lots of healings that are happening all over the place. And some of them are actually.

Out there to be found. And what I would hope it would do is not make you delusional, but I want it, I do want it to excite curiosity about who we are and how we're not really slaves to our own situations. That we may not have a clue right now how to combat something or how to leave something or, release something.

But if we start getting curious instead of just going instantly to frustration I don't know how that can't happen. I don't understand, I don't know. If we can get curious, suddenly we open a crack in the door of what we're able to be and what we're able to do. And it gives us and as women, it is critical that we do this because we're already one down in everything, [00:59:00] even within our own estimation.

And we, once we start to realize, once we start to have little bitty experiences of our power, it changes the game. The game is different. Like over the last two years, two and a half years now, I have become able to see the patterns, see the mental emotional patterns when they come up, and where some days I might feel like I don't even feel like I wanna go and deal with it.

So it'll stick around me for a few days. For some reason, I decide to torture myself. I at least know I have ways now that I can get out of that within minutes. And I also know that if I don't have time to do some of the processes, but I do have the time to make a choice and go, I really don't wanna think that [01:00:00] way right now.

Where before I was like I can't stop it now. I'm like, no, I can't stop it. I can. And so the changes are so frequent and so cumulative. And I, they also give us these changes through the feminine, through sensitivity, through intuition, through emotion, through energy. Not through power over Right.

But power with. And that's what's gonna, that's what's going to finally balance our lives and heal our relationship with ourselves and then each other. 'cause how you are, how any of us is how we are with others. How we feel is what is the energy that goes out there? I can say a [01:01:00] million affirmations to you.

I can say, I have a million dollars. I have a million dollars. I have a million dollars. I don't have a million dollars. So what's gonna go out into the universe is actually how I feel about it. Now, if I do feel into that and I go, you know what, I am wealth. My actual nature is abundance. If I lit, if I honestly feel that, then that's going out.

That is informing my reality. There are certain things being pulled in because they resonate with that. But if inside, I'm completely committed to thinking, I got nothing. I got nothing, and I'm going, I have a million dollars. The million dollars part is completely ignored by the energy, because my energy is, I got nothing.

So that's where we need to make the deeper changes. And it's done through feminine things like compassion [01:02:00] and receptivity and allowing and softening and collaborating and curiosity instead of let's wrestle it to the ground and kill it, which is the toxic masculine. Yeah. Okay. Really important.

So thank you for coming. My great pleasure. We had a great talk, I think, and I agree.