Breaking Free from Energy Vampires: Behavior, Boundaries & Bagels with Shane Laufman

Shane Laufman, creator of the FQ3C model, joins Nikki to challenge common motivational advice and explore what it really takes to make lasting progress. They discuss toxic relationships, behavioral tracking, and why SMART goals fall short. Shane shares how his achievement model helps individuals and professionals alike measure change, build clarity, and remove obstacles—especially emotional vampires.

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Speaker 2: [00:00:00] hello everybody. My name is Shane Laufman and I am the creator of FQ three C. Which is the achievement behavioral model, brand new modern model that helps you identify your behaviors, quantify them.

I know a lot of people don't like the word quantify, but it is something that allows you to really take a good look at your goals and then take a look at your habits and then track your progress towards your goals and in the network, or sorry, in the marketplace. Today, really we have this problem, we have an epidemic, and that epidemic is we don't have a way to actually track our behaviors for ourselves.

We have all these different companies, statisticians, who are taking a look at behavioral models of groups of people, and they're putting us into these different categories. They're telling us what we need to know, but does that really help you? Does that help you on the day to day? Does it help you with you trying to get that raise?

Does it help you with you trying to overcome your [00:01:00] PTSD? Does that help you? Trying to figure out who you should even talk to about the problem that you're dealing with today. It probably doesn't. And that's what we're really bringing to the market, and that's what we're really excited to be able to bring to the conversation with for you guys today.

And we wanna kick it off with talking about a subject that Nikki and I were discussing before, which is the vampire suckers. We're not talking about the vampire cults. Yes, those guys do exist. Have fun going down that rabbit trail if you decide to Google it. But what we're really talking about is those emotional, mental, physical vampires in your life.

We wanna make sure that we are addressing every single piece of our lives, right? Because there's more than just one thing you gotta do. If you've ever heard of those people who've said, ah, consistency, all you gotta do is be consistent and you'll win. If you believe that, then you're fooling yourself, right?

I can give so many examples where doing a consistent action [00:02:00] leads you to jail. 

Speaker: Fair. 

Speaker 2: Did you really want to, that consistent action lead you to jail? Most likely not. And if you did, congratulations, your prize was jail. And then other people are gonna say, oh, if you believe it enough, if you believe it enough, if you tell the universe enough, it's gonna make it, it'll happen for you.

No, otherwise, that means that the guy who's sitting down playing video games and in his mind was playing video games says, oh yeah, I'm gonna become a billionaire. Is he gonna become a billionaire because he believes it enough while he's sitting down playing video games? That doesn't work. That doesn't matter.

He's not doing the other effort, the other actions, the other pieces that are required for him to be able to go and become a billionaire. If you think about it from other people who are like, oh, all you need to do is take action. Take action. Okay, I could be in the middle of a store and then I see that I want a candy bar.

And I go, you know what? I want the candy bar right now. And I take action and I take the candy bar and I leave through the door. And you know what? I [00:03:00] get tackled by the police and I'm back in jail again with the other guy.

Speaker 3: I don't think they tackle you over one candy bar. It has to be worse than that. 

Speaker 2: Okay. I decided to get a toilet. I picked up one of the toilets, no depot. The guy tackled me with my toilet, my ceramic toilet, whatever it may be. But the point is that I'm trying to use these illustrations to let you guys know that there is more than one piece of this puzzle and don't follow these people or telling you that there's only one or two or even three or five.

The fact is that in the behavioral model that we've been able to come, to a conclusion with is there's actually 12. There are 12 individual unique behaviors. That you have to adjust and adapt every single day to reach your goal. And if we're talking about these blood sucking vampires at work, blood sucking vampires at [00:04:00] home, it doesn't change the fact that you have to address all 12.

You really do. But, 12 is a lot. So we're not gonna talk about all 12, what we really can do is bring it down to five five that will change your life. Okay, first one's frequency, next one's quality. The next one's consistency. The next one is continuity. For all those who love to use, very big words, continuity.

And then the last one's clarity. Now we need to make sure that we understand the nature of these, and we also need to understand that there's actually a step before we even address those five variables. That step is you need to get clear on your goal. And I'm gonna say something that a lot of people are gonna wanna push back on me for, and I don't care, I'm gonna say it anyways.

Smart goals suck. They really suck. In fact, I've actually only met one person who came to the defense of Smart Goals one, and I've said that smart goals suck for a very long [00:05:00] time to literally hundreds and hundreds of people, if not potentially thousands at this point. And everybody at the very least goes, eh, it's okay at the best.

Many are like, eh, no, it didn't help me at all. And I'm gonna say it's worse than that. It is an epidemic of its own kind, and it really, actually, truly is destructive. And it sucks because you believe you have a goal. You believe you have a complete goal. And the truth is you don't. And I like to use this analogy, imagine that you're using a GPS and you're trying to get somewhere in New York.

If you have a destination and you know where you are. Then it's easy to know the quality actions that you also need to do consistently to get there, right? That's your F, that's your Q, and that's your C one that we're talking about here. If I don't have a bike, if I don't have a car, if I don't have any types of stuff, then the most quality [00:06:00] action I could take is running and I would be able to do it by running.

So I'm going to run and I'm gonna run until I get to my destination. As simple as that, and I know that's like, whoa, really? That's all it is. That's just the first part. The next part is where it gets interesting, and this is where your blood suckers come in. You have also continuity. This is everything else surrounding your destination.

Meaning did a car come in the middle of your way as you're trying to run and then hits you, and then you go to the hospital, and then from the hospital you get flown over to a completely different city. Then you have to buy a ticket from that city to try and fly back home just to be able to go back to your original destination, just to be able to walk to your original place.

You're trying to go into the first place all for a bagel.

The continuity matters, guys. It matters. Don't walk in the middle of traffic, stay on the sidewalk. Don't let the people get in your way. Maneuver around them. [00:07:00] Keep your eye on the ball, gets where you need to go. Those blood suckers are all those other people, all those other things that are getting in the way they're trying to take from you.

Take your attention, take your money, take your time and all you have to do. And if you were trying to walk from here to the store to get your bagel, and I mean you were hungry for a bagel right now. When the guy with hot dogs comes and says, oh, you know what you gotta have, you gotta have a hot dog. Don't take the hot dog.

Say no. Get him outta the way. Keep going. Or better yet, improve your continuity. Maybe go and wave down a taxi. 'cause you know what the taxi's definitely not gonna do is stop for the guy in the hotdog. In fact, you are not gonna probably even remember that there was a guy with a hot dog because you put yourself into a better position.

That's your continuity with these life suckers for you. I'm gonna say something that really hurts Most of the time. The biggest life suckers in your [00:08:00] life are those that you actually trust.

It's just the case. And the reason why you trust them is because they're all that you've known. The reason why you don't want to let go of that pain, that bitterness, that anxiety. Is because you just are comfortable where you are, you really are. Otherwise you would stop. The truth is you would just stop, you would stop letting that brother of yours come and make fun of you every single time without at least pushing back.

You would tell your roommates that you're leaving, you're going somewhere else. It's better to be on the streets than it is to be in that house where you have drug dealing going on at your work. You can tell your boss, Hey, listen, either I'm leaving this job, or you gotta move me to a different spot, a different cell.

I'm not gonna be able to work my best if I'm around somebody who's so toxic. You need to be able to actually take the [00:09:00] guts, take the steps to understand that is absolutely so imperative to control as the continuity around you as well. 

Speaker 3: I don't think they call themselves, cubicles, I think we think it's a cubicle.

Some of them know that it's a cell,

Speaker 2: a as one who has been in a cubicle. I can tell you it feels like a cell.

Technicality. I also see you on that one, but, curiosity. Oh, buddy. It's a cell.

But yes. So the cubicle for some of you maybe that cites you, I won't call it a cell for you guys, but for those of you who are like me, cell is very fitting. You understand?

So change your cell or change your cubicle, whatever it is, you can change your surroundings to be able to fit the mold for you to be able to make the easiest path for you to get to where you wanna go at the end of the [00:10:00] day. Yes, by the way, PTS individuals, that means you need to get a counselor. And yes, that means that even if you're first, you're second, you're third, your 17th, your 25th counselor stuck.

Keep going. You need to control that continuity. You need to get that in order. And if you don't have that continuity, that means that your whole entire time that you're gonna be trying to get that bagel, you're letting the cars get in front of you. You're letting the hot dog get in your way, you're letting that shiny girl take you off to the street and actually get you pulling the backwards.

You're not even going anywhere near where you're supposed to be going. You could be going east, west, south, anywhere but your destination. So you gotta fight for it. And that's another thing I wanna let you guys know. You do have to fight. This is a battle. Your behaviors are the culmination of who you were.

That doesn't mean that's who you have [00:11:00] to be today. That doesn't even mean that's who you have to be in the next minute, next hour, next day, next month, next year. That's not who you have to be. It's just who you were, and you can change that immediately. Today, you can start taking those actions that are of quality.

You do it consistently. Don't let up get to the dang bagel. Change the world around you. Change your circumstances. If you're going, oh, I can't change my circumstances, listen, I'm telling you right now, you could get onto a Greyhound bus for just a couple of bucks, $27 and go to a completely different city and you could start over.

You could do that right now. Don't tell me you can't. You can. Is that what you want to do? I don't know. Do you really want the bagel? 

Speaker 3: It better be a good bagel if I'm moving cities. It is 

Speaker 2: the best bagel you've ever had in your life. It's the one that you're gonna tell your kids about. 

There's gonna be one literally in a trophy [00:12:00] case, lights on it and everything.

You'd be like, this was the New York bagel.

Yeah. So I apologize. I like to use analogies a lot. I think analogies are easier for people to, to grapple with. And the truth is that it doesn't matter what the goal is for, if it's gonna be work related, if it's gonna be trying to find your purpose, getting closer with God or whatever. It's the same thing.

It's all exactly the same thing. And it's either are you getting on the line and are you doing what you need to do at quality and doing consistently? And then are you addressing the surrounding elements to improve your probability of success? Save time, money, and energy, which is what we're talking about, those suckers.

Just get rid of a man. I don't care if they're your best friend right now. Get rid of 'em. Get rid of 'em. They're not actually your best friend. They're taken from you. They're not helping you. And then of course, clarity, [00:13:00] man. You need data to get clear, don't you? You need to understand your definition of rebelling beliefs to get clear, don't you?

You need to be able to see the surrounding environmental barriers and everything else that's impacting. You need to be able to get clear, don't you?

Speaker 3: But, so to bring us back dealing with, or how do you suggest people identify the vampires? Yeah, because I think that's hard for a lot of people because it could be the best friend you've known since you were five who like had parents that ended up spoiling the absolute crap out of 'em and now they're entitled buttholes, whatever the thing may be.

But, it's hard to say since you've been friends with them since you were five. Well, I don't, I can't be with that. I can't have that friend anymore. That's hard. So it's pretty, how do you identify and then how do you recommend they break away? 

Speaker 2: That's a great question. So, as far as [00:14:00] identification's concerned, what I would recommend is actually using our goals assessment first.

Get as high as you possibly can on your goal. 'cause because if the harder the task or the harder the thing that you're trying to achieve, then the more clear you need to become in order to give yourself that value and give yourself that belief enough to make that hard decision. Right. And so what I would be doing is shooting for 98% completeness at least, and whatever that goal is, you need to get into a mental state of this is where I'm going to lead my life.

This is where I'm going to dedicate all my time, all my energy towards this is what's going to help me, my family. This is what's going to be my driving force for however long it is that you set your duration for. Right? Could be 10 years, five years, whatever, maybe even a month, I don't know, a month.

You probably aren't gonna really get rid of your friends. I will say this. If you're gonna [00:15:00] be doing a live change, that's a three year plan, five year plan, 10 year plan, you're gonna have to make a lot of harder decisions. So that's the first thing. Once you've done that. Then what you do is you look at yourself first.

You say, okay, what am I doing? Where am I at relative to the goal? We, again, have another assessment for this, which tells you're probably exce success based upon those other variables. Once I have that, you can start actually looking at then the people around you. You can start looking at the resources around you.

You can start looking at those other different barriers, and the simple question really comes down to this, if you know your goal so well and you know that nothing's gonna get in your way of doing it, then you start working your way through your entire friends list and you say, is this person helping me get there or not?

Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

Speaker 2: It's that simple. And for [00:16:00] those who are helping you get there, I would do a big star around them. 'cause you wanna keep 'em. 

And for those that are not, you need to. Understand that your goal, your directive for you, your family, whatever it is so important that you know it's okay to mark.

They're not gonna help me. And if they're not gonna help you, you're gonna have to go back through that list and say, is there anybody that at least doesn't harm me that I can keep around? 

Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

Speaker 2: And those are probably the only people that get a pass because at least they're not harming you. They're not taking away, they're not benefiting.

And they were good friends. They were good people. They were decent people in your life. You had really great memories. Maybe you can call 'em up and you can go fishing with 'em or whatever. It's not taking away from your goal however, but if they're taking away from your goal in any shape or [00:17:00] form or fashion, get rid of 'em.

They are not for you. How to get rid of 'em. I think there's really three different ways, and this depends upon your personality type. At the end of the day, it's just a hard off, a hard stop talking to 'em. Stop calling them. Just stop. You'd be amazed at how many people are not actually thinking of you.

And if you stop talking to them, you're never gonna hear from 'em again. You'd be amazed. And that one was one that I actually leveraged when I was going through an identity crisis. And it was a full blown identity crisis where I literally got rid of every single person in my life, every single one.

And I said, I will not talk to the person unless they contact me first. And I'm an extrovert, and I'm a person who builds networks and networking is, I'm, I love it. I'm great at it. It's one of my gifts. God bless me with that. Right. And so I have thousands, and [00:18:00] thousands of people in my phone. I shut off for eight months.

How many people do you think contacted me just to say, Hey, I haven't heard from Shane in a while. I wonder how Shane's doing. Or even just, they valued me enough that they wanted to reach out to me to ask me a question. Like literally anything. How many people do you think it was? 

Speaker 3: Maybe five. 

Speaker 2: Yeah, it was three people.

Three. 

Speaker 3: I was more generous, but yeah. 

Speaker 2: Here's the other crazy thing. I had like five people that considered to be my best friends and then I had another six or seven that was like, oh, these are my brothers on top of that. 

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm. None of them. 

Speaker 2: 1. One of those three was only one of those people I just mentioned.

One was a mentor, one of the guys I mentioned who was a best friend and the other one who was gung-ho about being a really good friend with me. He wanted to be friends. It was him who wanted, I didn't wanna [00:19:00] be friends with him, honestly, but he was gung ho. He wanted to it. That's, those are the three people.

Speaker 3: Caveat to that, I am not a harmful person, but I don't tend to reach out a whole lot to people because I have a lot going on in my life. I may or may not remember to call people, but, yeah, I still want to be a friend, but I have that thing where it's out of sight, out of mind. If I saw your name come across something and be, oh yeah, I need to get a touch in touch with them.

I haven't heard from them in a while, that kind of thing. Yeah. But otherwise, I'm really bad at that and I do have people who are like, why didn't you call me? And I'm like, because I didn't know you needed me to. 

Speaker 2: Yeah. That's kind of the point, right? It's. These people that you're so worried about holding onto, most likely are not actually going to contact you if you just stop.

And if they do contact you wait like a week, [00:20:00] and most likely they're gonna just drop off. They're gonna realize, oh, I can't be a vampire and suck from you anymore. 

Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

Speaker 2: It also is gonna allow you to see the character because now what you're gonna do is use FQ three C again. If they do keep on reaching out, what are they talking about?

That's the frequency. What are the qualities that they're valuing in you and valuing themself, and what's the value proposition basically relative to why they're calling you? Are they calling you to try and get money

or are they calling because. Hey, I'm really worried about you. I haven't heard from you in a week, and honestly, you missed out on these things and it just tells me that something's wrong with you, and I just wanna make sure you're okay. You can learn a lot from just stepping back. 

Speaker: Yeah, it's 

Speaker 2: incredible.

And so by stepping back, you can analyze, you can do it without emotions [00:21:00] being involved because you are the one who made the choice. And then you can go and just assess and say, great. Is this person of quality? Are they helped me towards my goal or not? Is what they said of character or not? Is this in alignment with their values or not?

Are they calling to get my money or not? Are. And that allows you to really be able to, I think, the most quickly, at least sever the relationships that are just not beneficial and get rid of as many su vampires as possible. Now, this does not mean it's gonna get rid of all vampires. There are some vampires where you are literally their only source.

Those are harder. Those are a much harder VA empire to get rid of. And what I say is that those people typically are mentally sick themselves. 

Speaker: Mentally 

Speaker 2: and emotionally sick. And they most likely need professional help. And if they say, no, I don't need any professional help, if it, the attachment that they have to use is so unhealthy.

So it actually [00:22:00] might be doing something in love to sever by what I call the handoff. The handoff is, Hey, I love you. And because of that, I know that right now our relationship is not healthy. And what I also know is that you are dealing with a little bit of separation anxiety or whatever it is that's going on, or whatever the problem is, however they're sucking from you.

And I found a resource for you, and I wanna give this to you. What I'm gonna say is that I've learned that me being around you is actually unhealthy for you. So let me know when you've improved, when you've progressed, and when you get this help from this person. But I'm gonna let you know if you don't get help, then, I'm going for the sake of you, I'm gonna actually shut this off.

The handoff. So first one severance. Next one is handoff. And I'd say the third one is more of [00:23:00] a, we're gonna call it brutal honesty. This is the smack down or the line in the sand is what you can call it. And the SmackDown line in the sand is saying, and I like to reserve this for people who have potential, is, here's my conditions that you must meet to continue to hang around me.

The moment you stop meeting these conditions.

I'm never gonna stop loving you. I'm never stopped gonna, pray for you, think of you and want the best for you. I'm letting you know that right now. But my goal dictates that this is the line of sand and either you are for me and my goal or you're not. 

Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

Speaker 2: If you are, we're gonna be able to continue to be great friends.

And also, I want you to do the same. You need to put some line in the sand for me too. If I do or do not meet these things, then you need to also separate, because I'm telling you this is where I'm going and I know that you need to go wherever you need to go and maybe [00:24:00] work with them through getting them a goal, getting them assessed, doing the same exact thing.

Line of the sand's really nice because you can have the two players come to the table and then look and say, this is where we're willing to go. This is where we're willing not to go. And then the moment that somebody breaks it adhere to the ingredients. That is you actually doing the best thing for them and doing the best thing for yourself and doing it in love.

Because one of the best things you can do in love is to tell the truth and to do what you say you're gonna do. So keep your word and keep your word. 

Speaker 3: It also helps in business because if you're not keeping your word, if you're not doing what you say you're gonna do, you can't be working with me anyway. I don't put up with that.

If we talk and you say, I'm gonna have this to you by whatever date, and then I don't have anything, there's gonna be a problem because I don't like people who don't say what they mean and do what they mean. 

Speaker 2: Absolutely. And from a business perspective, if you're in that [00:25:00] arena, if you're not aligning with the business's vision, values, beliefs, their direction, then it is good for you to not have your job there.

I know that you are saying, this is my income, and I know that you're fearful of trying to get back out there into the workforce. I know that, but you should be doing everything you can to get with a company then that you do align with, that you can get on board with that. It's more than just the income.

There needs to be something else that's attached to that thing. Otherwise, you are harming them as much as they are harming you. 

Speaker 3: But I would recommend looking for a job and maybe finding one before quitting because Yeah, that's what I was saying, like backup, 

Speaker 2: you need to be searching for one, and then the moment that happens, great, you can leave, right?

At the end of the day, that's the best way to do it. I know that entrepreneurs can kind of be a little more, let's dive in. 

And sometimes that builds up a really crazy mental resilience. That is wild. What I [00:26:00] will say is that most people can't handle that stress, they can't handle that and will actually accidentally backtrack by doing that type of method.

Very few people are built mentally and emotionally upfront to handle that stress and be so specific and so deadline in the sand that they will actually bulldoze their way into what they want. So I agree with you, most people probably not the best choice to try and just be like, I'm gonna quit today.

That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that you need to start taking quality actions that are consistent every day to start getting to a place that is actually in an alignment, right? Mm-hmm. And again, that's for the benefit of you and the company. And the company needs to be doing the same thing.

They need to be looking at you and saying, are you in alignment? And if they catch that you're not in alignment, they need to actually get rid of you. I'm sorry, [00:27:00] but that's the truth. You're either for them and where they're going or against them and where they're going. And here's the other thing too, right?

A lot of people are afraid of that. What if the company's going in a direction that you just don't know about that is illegal and going to harm lives and is going to be found out 5, 6, 10 years from now for taking advantage of people? I have so many examples in my head, but I'm not gonna name the companies right now 'cause I don't wanna go off to that tangent 'cause everybody can think of one.

Do you really wanna have your name associated with that company during that time for the sake of your paycheck? 

Speaker: Yeah. 

Speaker 2: Do you really wanna have your name associated with something like that? No. So them actually getting rid of you before that stuff happens is actually a good thing because they know that your quality, your character, would not approve and would not be beneficial towards their end goal.

Man, you can separate from it and then avoid so many catastrophic, tr catastrophic events in your [00:28:00] life. Just because of the willingness and openness to severance and the willingness and dedication and commitment to the goal and the destination.

So those are my three ways. Hopefully they answer the question. 

Speaker 3: Very thoroughly.

Speaker 2: So the similarities is the fact that, when you're doing the analysis and when you're going through all the, you know, permeations identity, configurations and, these other layers of purpose and stuff, what I like to say is that most people, especially today, are so focused on the goals, processes, and systems.

That they're not actually focusing on what it takes to actually quantify the behaviors necessary to even get a good goal in place. Get a good process in place, get a good system in place. Okay. So I, fq three C is the prerequisite to models like his. [00:29:00] 

Speaker 3: Okay. So I know that there was that whole big thing on Facebook lots of years ago.

I don't remember when it was. It was the before times. It was before today. Okay. 

Speaker: Okay. 

Speaker 3: But it was like the N-T-S-B-I think. I don't know. They had random letters they put together for what kind of person you are. 

Speaker 2: Oh, pers okay. So personality, modeling is also completely different. 

Speaker 3: Okay. 

Speaker 2: Yeah. This has nothing to do with personality actually.

So when you're dealing with personality, that's considered more of a human behavioral model. 

Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

Speaker 2: This is actually achievement behavioral model, which means it's not limited to humans. Plants actually follow this, animals follow this, trusts any organization follows this. They can't help it.

It turns out that this is the DNA of behavior, period of creation as a general statement. The only I should say anything that has an [00:30:00] element of sentient capability at least. So that's why I put like plants, they're not technically sentient, but at a biological level, they operate within the basic format.

A planet has its own behaviors, but does not have any of that involved, right? Mm-hmm. So I guess you could go back to this. Anything that's an entity with a cellular or entity created by a cellular 

is where this behavioral model applies. 

Speaker 3: So what are the benefits of using, well, I mean I know we've talked a little bit about some of the benefits, right?

I'm not saying that we haven't, but what are some of the benefits that you find the most helpful 

Speaker 2: from the model? From FQ three C? 

Speaker: Yes. 

Speaker 2: Okay, I'll give this one. Using FQ three c, I wrote a 62,000 page book in 16 days,

Speaker 3: a 62,000 [00:31:00] page book, 

Speaker 2: sorry. 62,000 word book, which is equivalent to approximately, okay, sorry. 300. Yeah, 300. And that's without ai? No AI involved. 

That is pure, just this. 

So I say that because at the end of the day.

To accomplish something like that requires an insane amount of focus, an insane amount of dedication, an insane amount of clarity, an insane amount of severance. Like we were just talking about. I say insane because most people would look at what I did to make that happen as insane, but it's not insane.

All it did is it just said, well, let's just take a look at the behaviors and I'm going to dial up all the nozzles to the absolute maximum threshold I could. And I actually gave myself 30 days to accomplish it. But by maxing out everything, I got it done in 16 and that's actually with two days off. [00:32:00] 

Speaker 3: Wow.

Speaker 2: So the benefits are wild at the end of the day. You want to be more efficient. You want to think faster, you want to filter faster, you want to do assessments, you wanna strategize, you wanna plan, you want to get a better quality goal. You wanna get clarity, you want to gather data. It doesn't really matter what angle.

What I've found is that the model, as far as the tools are concerned, start to become a little more segmented. So I'll give you an example. The health provider industry right now, specifically in the psychiatric world, has a challenge with the insurance companies. And, I actually have this on record with, a doctor in that field too, stating that the biggest problem that she sees anyway is there's no standardization for patient tracking.

Insurance companies want data to know that this patient has [00:33:00] progressed so that they can know that the provider is doing their job so that they can give payment because obviously insurance company doesn't wanna pay if they don't have to. So these medical professionals have to fight the insurance companies to get payment.

But there's no standardized way for anyone to quantify behavior currently. So all of these different medical professionals are trying to somewhat somehow create some sort of metric systems, but everybody's completely all on their own and it's absolute chaos. And these people went to school to become psychologists.

They didn't go to school to try and learn how to become a statistician. Right. That's not the thing. They use data in the practice. They aren't trying to actually create the data for the practice. 

So this actually is the standardized way to do that, tracking for any and all of the service providers, specifically within the behavioral health field.

I don't care if you're a coach. [00:34:00] I don't care if you're a, consultant. I don't care if you're gonna be a psychologist, psychiatrist, you're in trauma therapy, whatever The thing is that you need to be able to track it for the insurance company. So that right there is significant time savings because you don't have to fight anymore.

You actually could probably have less staffing, which is obviously more savings because the assessments are enough for the insurance companies to accept. You also have, benefits from the patient side in terms of acceleration to getting to a particular, destination and healing. And this is the other part that a lot of people don't know in that world, the insurance companies will only allow the provider to service one, one problem at a time, which is crazy.

'cause if you have PTSD, you have a lot of problems. And you need to solve all of them typically to get the PTSD done. But because it's categorized in PTSD, they only will pay for certain type of [00:35:00] service. Mm-hmm. Because there's no quantifiable metric system or, process or model to track that behavior correctly and accurately and efficiently.

So that's just that one. If you're talking about personal, personal behaviors, if someone were to actually read the book, which, that I wrote, right, which is called Doomed to the Succeed, and I can put that link and get that link to you if you'd like. If you read the book, it gives you literally what we talked about with the vampires and it tells you how to measure formulaically and it shows you how you can go and assess and then make better quality decisions.

So far, every single person that's read that book, especially if they read it more than I'd say twice 

has walked away with complete and total behavioral transformations. And it's just because they finally have a GPS to go off of everybody's basically running around with their heads cut off and no maps.

Just [00:36:00] a bunch of words. And people, and I would call it maybe like landmarks. These gurus are mainly just landmarks. 

And then they provide a process, but that's not a map, that's just a process that's supposed to be used in tandem with a map. 

But nobody's giving a map, let alone A GPS.

So we're trying to give that map and give that GPS so that when you finally go to that process, you can actually say, actually, is this process the right process for me? Stop falling for the gimmicks. You're gonna make a million dollars within a year. Look at Brad over here. Meanwhile we don't know, is that Brad had a map and he had a GPS.

He already had a clear defined goal. He already had the behaviors in place so that when the process was given to him, of course he was gonna do a million dollars. Of course he was primed. He was ready mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. He, the process was made for him, but you might actually be the complete opposite match.[00:37:00] 

It's like dating. It's like if you expect that you're gonna go on the dating and you're gonna be able to get anybody and everybody you ever want, like that's complete crazy talk, crazy, crazy talk. You need to also know what you want. You need to know what the other person wants from you so you guys can identify, measure against each other, and fall in love and then have a strong relationship moving forward.

That's why you have the map and you have the processing system. If you don't have both, then there's nothing. If you have a map, but no processor system. Then you're gonna have a Long Trek buddy. For especially the really difficult goals. I mean, you're an idiot if you don't at least adopt and get some horses or get a carriage or get something on this dirt road.

Get that taxi in New York, I don't know, hire a limbo driver or maybe a guide, some hire a person to walk in front of you yelling, get outta the way as you're walking towards your bagels. You know, it's a process, it's a tool, it's a system. But that guy is completely [00:38:00] worthless to say, Hey, can you go and walk and help me get to the bagel store when you go the other direction?

Because you don't know where you're going. You're, I don't care how good the process system is, you have to have that match. 

Speaker 3: On the mental health front, where they only do one thing at a time. Yeah. Some people have, like, I have PTSD. 

I also have C-P-T-S-D, I also have bipolar, I also have major depressive disorder.

I also have anxiety disorder. Like I do not fit in a mold where there's only one thing somebody's working on. 

Speaker 2: Yeah. Exact. Oh my gosh. Exactly. And here's the thing, you actually need to have goals in place for every single one of them. And there needs to be a defined metric as to where you are right now relative to those goals for each one of them.

And you also need to be able to assess your daily progress with each one, because guess what? You have to still take a look at the drug that may be helping with your bipolar. But if that doesn't help your CPSD, then [00:39:00] don't do the drug

maybe, 

Speaker 3: or the MES are working. We actually, or 

we actually caught one of my meds. So I was on two different pills. One was. One was a mood stabilizer and it was supposed to help you sleep. And then the other one was just a mood stabilizer. Okay. 

Speaker: We thought the one that was helping me sleep was just helping me sleep.

And the other one was the mood stabilizer that was helping me except the one that was helping me sleep, stopped helping me sleep. 'cause I had been on it long enough that, it wasn't sleep, it wasn't helping me sleep anymore. 

Speaker 2: Yeah. 

Speaker 3: Because I am one of those people who will stay up for days with without a sleeping pill, so it's not a good idea.

Speaker: Yeah. 

Speaker 3: So we took me completely off of that 'cause we were like, yeah, that's just helping the sleep. It wasn't helping the mood stabilizer. We have this other one as a mood stabilizer. [00:40:00] Holy nut sack dude, Batman, whoever. That other one that I was on, that other ma Mo. It wasn't doing nothing. There was no reason for me to be on it.

We took me off of that and put me back on the other one because yeah. My personality took on a whole new demon look for a couple of days where I was just like, whoa, I haven't felt like this in a long time. This is not good.

Speaker 2: Yeah. And you actually brought up another interesting point on this, right? Not all mental health behavioral problems have a drug per se that can actually help or has been produced to service that need. And also not all drugs that have been created to service that need are going to benefit every single person, right?

I have so many people that have tried to tell me that I have a DD, it's crazy. And I remember I tried adrenaline one time. I became a petrified [00:41:00] cat.

I remember I was at work of all places working in a financial institution and I'm downstairs and all of a sudden it hit and I was like, I can't move. I see everything and I can't move. 'cause if I, too much information was, the information overload was wild and I couldn't handle it. So I stood there and everyone's like, are you okay?

Are you okay? I'm like, I started like mumbling my words. I couldn't even speak. I was

Everybody's like, oh, caffeine makes you jittery. It makes you have so much energy. It's wonderful. You should try, you know, whatever. I drink Coke Zero because I like it. Guess what? It doesn't do give me the jitters or anything else because like, I don't. I don't react to caffeine. I do not react so much to [00:42:00] caffeine that I once, I was like, you know what?

I'm kind of tired. I need, you know, a pick me up. So I'm gonna go, I was in the grocery store, so I grabbed a Monster Energy drink. 

Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

Speaker 3: Sorry, monster. This is not gonna be okay for you. But I drank that entire stupid can, and I'm telling you now, I don't know why y'all drink that crap, but whatever. Let's not talk about that kind of tasted like weirdness and

Speaker 2: gasoline, it's like a gasoline with lime.

Speaker 3: Yeah, it was so bad. I drank that and five minutes later I was out like a light for four hours.

Speaker 2: I have a similar, okay. Normally. So if I'm at home and I'm in a good, good place, right? And I drink any of those drinks at all, I'm just like you, it actually makes me tired and I go to bed. But if I'm on the road, I train my brain to [00:43:00] do the placebo effect. So the placebo effect is, it will pick me up if I'm on the road, but any other time it doesn't.

Mm-hmm. And I'm like, that's okay. As long as it, as long as my brain believes I can do another mile, I'm fine with that. I'm also, 

Speaker 3: I'm an asthmatic. Okay. I live and breathe sometimes via the fact that I have an inhaler Okay. And breathing machine. Okay. Because my lungs, I say fu to a lot of things. 

Speaker 2: That's one way to put it.

Speaker 3: My asthma is triggered. By the stupidest thing that I cannot control. Scent. 

Speaker 2: What is it? 

Speaker 3: Scent. So you know how you can ride down the road with, fresh air? 'cause it goes in and outta your car, right? The free flow, whatever that's [00:44:00] called. Right? Air flow, people air. Yeah. You can drive by trucks and Oh, that smells kind of bad, but whatever.

Not a big deal. Da da da. Let's go down the road. Yeah. No. If I smell something, I know that the circulated air is not on, which it has to be if I'm in the car. 

Because I will have an asthma attack and it will get bad. 

Speaker 2: Gotcha. 

Speaker 3: Just because a truck smells really bad or you know how you go to church and somebody's Aunt Sally has decided to douse themselves in perfume today.

Speaker 2: Petroleum oil or something. 

Speaker 3: Yeah. That crap will give me an asthma attack. Cannot breathe. 

Speaker 2: Gotcha. 

Speaker 3: So what ends up happening is I take a couple puffs off my inhaler, and if that doesn't work once I get home, I use my machine. But either way, the inhaler or the machine, I don't react to that like normal people.

Again, that's a thing. Stimulant, right? Mm-hmm. It's supposed to jazz you up. It's [00:45:00] supposed to, you know, wake you up, type deal. 

Speaker: Okay. 

Speaker 3: No, I get it. I go, you know, that thing you feel, you felt at negative 50? Yeah. 

Speaker: I feel like I'm that cold. 

Ooh. 

Speaker 3: And I pass out. I fall asleep. However you wanna say that. When I wake up, I am confused.

It's Oh. For a couple for like an hour after I wake up. 'cause it's kind of like what happened? 

Speaker 2: Yeah. You feel the drowsiness? That the delirious, yeah. Yeah. Don't, you're gonna not like the, you're gonna wish that you were me in a moment. Ready? I actually can't smell. 

Speaker: Oh, I couldn't, I literally, 

Speaker 2: like, I could have a poopy diaper right in front of me and I can't even tell.

So, so you got a 

Speaker 3: dead sense of smell like my therapist and Ive got the heightened sense of smell. 

Speaker 2: Yeah. So the only way I can tell if something smells [00:46:00] bad, 

Speaker 3: what other people's reactions is if 

Speaker 2: my body is already throwing up,

I have no preliminary, Hey, it probably shouldn't be around this. It's, I walk and all of a sudden like, oh. Oh, wait, what? Oh, okay. So obviously there's a smell in here, but I have no idea until this is happening.

So it's great in certain circumstances. But I'm pretty sure my life has been saved because I've decided, you know what, I'm gonna ask this person to smell this, you know, gallon of milk for me. 

Speaker 3: Oh, yeah. That would be a problem. I can smell that. I'm sure it feels kinda 

Speaker 2: weird. Sounds kind of weird.

Yeah. Hey, smell this for quickly. That 

Speaker 3: sounds chunk. I wouldn't drink that. 

Speaker 2: Yeah. So I'm pretty sure I've been saved many, many times from drinking the crazy sour milk and all that stuff because I just, have to really focus on the other senses then to help. 

Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

Speaker 2: And there's just sometimes you just [00:47:00] have no way of knowing and you just walk in and you're like, okay, go buy 

Speaker 3: the date on the milk carton for you.

Okay. If it is past that date, don't touch it. Just don't recommend it at all. 

Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. I typically don't, but sometimes I have a 3-year-old. Right. And, I try to teach her independence. So I do allow her to go into a fridge and pull out certain things from the fridge. Well, she might leave the door open by accident or something.

Right. And so that may make it so the milk spoils or at the very least, originally it would've been spoiling around the date, but then we accelerated that process. And so I might go in and the date's just fine, and then I'm hearing it and I'm like, 

Speaker 3: if it sounds 

Speaker 2: chunky, it feels like there's maybe some rocks 

Speaker 3: or something in here.

If it sounds chunky. I don't think you need anybody to smell it. You're just torturing people. Just, well, 

Speaker 2: uh, it could also just be like, it was a different type of milk that was bought, unpasteurized milk [00:48:00] or whole milk, or not whole milk, organic milk. They still have the like lumps and stuff like that in the milk.

So I'm like, I don't actually know what I'm dealing with. 

So we really actually scratched the surface, right?

We just gave a couple of little pieces. We really just, gave you some snapshots, if you will, and a couple little tools, a couple little places to go. But at the end of the day, like if you're really wanting to reprogram yourself to really see the world for the way that it actually is, and then be accustomed to achievement and making it so that it's an intuitive, natural experience, then that means that your behavior has to be adjusted accordingly, right?

So that, that's the baseline of this whole entire conversation at the end of the day. And that, that goes back to the vampires. If you wanna be successful at getting rid of those va, those vampires, guess what? There is that behavioral change that has to happen, which is that severance at a minimum, but that might not even take care of everything, right?

So. If you wanna learn [00:49:00] more and you really wanna master and you really want to overcome those different things, it doesn't just take consistency. It doesn't just take belief, it doesn't just take clarity. It takes 12 different variables. 12. So I would actually like to invite everybody to read the book. We actually have it in an audio book now.

We also have it as a regular book, but we have not published it yet. Because I still have actually doctors going through it trying to make sure that, patients and their practices would be able to read it and digest it at just about all levels of reading. So right now what we're doing is if you wanna buy the book, the regular book, we're giving access to the working copy.

So as is continued to get adjusted and adapted through the medical professionals that are working through it right now. You're still gonna have that copy. You're gonna have it right away and you can start seeing those transformations and start reprogramming the brain in the way that you need to.

Again, we have an audiobook version as well. It's not on any of those other platforms [00:50:00] 'cause they want you to publish the book first. So we actually have our own platform and we'll be able to provide that to Nikki and I'm sure that she's gonna have, links here or whatever. But you also can just go to fq three c.com, that's fq, the number three C Foxtrot, Quebec, three Charlie, all of you, lovers of, the fanatic alphabet out there.com.

And that's where you're gonna be able to gain access to these different tools. We also have those assessments so that in case you're going, man, this sounds like a lot of math. Oh my goodness. This sounds like a lot of crazy psychological. I have to be smart. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We have the assessments built and made for you so that you can start today.

You can get clear on your goal. You can also get your baseline and you can start seeing your progress in as little as 15 to 20 minutes. Seriously. That's how fast this actually is. It's not a crazy process, and I know that we talk about crazy processes, but really it's not processes [00:51:00] we're talking about.

We're talking about crazy goals. So please go to the site, do that, connect with us on, Facebook, Instagram, all this stuff that's also there for you to take a look at. And ultimately just ask yourself, do you have the behaviors you need to get to where you wanna go? Do you really, truly have a fully complete goal?

Complete all the data, all the metrics, all the dates, all the times, all the players, all the fact? Do you have all of that? If you don't. You need to take the assessment. And also, I would encourage you too, to bring it to your next appointment. If you have a counselor or a doctor or whatever that appointment is, give it to them so that they can see the snapshot and see your progress.

That's only gonna help you and it's only gonna help them, and it's gonna save you time and money, and that's gonna make the insurance companies happy. Literally, this is a complete win, win across the board. And I really, I'm so excited for you guys to take a look at it. I'm so excited for you guys to [00:52:00] plug in and I'm so excited to see changes behaviorally from the mental health space, business space and beyond guys.

So yeah. Thank you so much for having me.